| Them's Fightin'
Words |
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You know that little dog that followed you home when you were a kid? You wanted to keep him, but your momma wouldn't let you keep it? Weren't you like...six? Well this game applys to those type of kids. Not involving the dog, but the age group of the kid. Everything was so.... so blah!
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| Graphics |
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Graphics? Hahaha. Good one. This game had absolutely no graphical talent, okay I take that back, some of the enimies looked alright. Like the Retardman. Whatever he was supposed to be. Anyways, the charater development was aweful. The all somehow involved stick appendages. For the most part, you could tell what you were looking at. Like the Stick Man looked like a stick man. I'd say, the greatest graphical part of this game was the beaver, I mean come on, it's a beaver. Hehe. Anyways, you could tell the graphics were done early on in the creator's OHR career.
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| Storyline |
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Okay, classic story. Billy the Gnome is standing down this corridor, and then out of nowhere some evil guy trys to take over the world and runs away to uhh.. Fartenburgh I think it was. Anyways, it had "Fart" in it. Well, Billy had no real idea what he was doing, and to tell you the truth I didn't either. Wandering the world, finding text and hoping that it was linking me to where I needed to go. Anyways, the storyline lacked many qualities a good game requires. Then again, I can't say I haven't done the same in this case for storyline... But hey, everybody has to start somewhere right?
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| Gameplay |
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Gameplay was limited. There were maybe five areas. And you spend a rough five to ten minutes in each area. Unless you press the F4 button the whole way through, then it takes maybe two to three. The game was about 30 minutes long. And to tell you the truth, it was a dragged out 30 minutes. I mean that's not saying a lot considering the fact that 30 minutes is enough to just barely start getting into the game. As I've said about graphics, this game appears to be the first game made by the creator.
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Battle |
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Battles were balanced. Liked that much. Although, one enemy was impossible to beat by what all I had tried. If it wasn't for Retardman, then I'd say that the game would be fairly balanced. But battles weren't bad. With the exception of the beaver, everyone had skills. They weren't too helpful, but they had a variety to choose from. Like the Stick Man threw dynamite and Billy did whatever he does... I still don't know. But the battles were kinda cheap, because when you used "Vomit" the standard attack all allies have, it let you do big damage from 40-70 damage. Which killed the enimies after a good 2 to three rounds of it.
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Map Design |
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Maps.... Oh my goodness. ONE BIG MAZE! That could sum it up you could say. Although the maps were thought out they became very very annoying. I mean, first of all, the doors in the game weren't linked right, so that became a nusicance. You had to use the right door or else, well let's just say you'd better hope you saved closer to where you last screwed up. I personally thought this area of the game would have been better, but eh, you can always be more dissappointed. The maptiles didn't even support the game that well.... Poor...
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Balance |
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As I said in the Battle Section, the game was fairly balanced except for RetardMan. Which as most of you know from my other reviews, I look for balance when I go to play a game. If it's not it affects EVERYTHING! And I'd rather play a poor game that's balanced than play a good game that's so unbalanced you would wonna ring someone's neck. Good job with the exception of RetardMan.
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| Music |
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Aweful. Consisted of every bit of music you get when you first download the OHR. Not a good selection either. This was a part of the game that wasn't just dissappointing, but very sad.
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| Enjoyment |
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Sadly, I must say, I enjoyed this game. I wouldn't play it again. But the beaver was what inspired me to finish the game. I mean come on everybody, it's a beaver. A beaver. Hehe. And it looked so very aweful it made you laugh. Onc of the few exceptions of bad graphics. But if not for the beaver, I wouldnt have enjoyed the game. But don't play the game for the beaver, I have stupid humor, so that's why it intrigued me.
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| Final Blows |
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The fact that there are 2 more games of this series interests me. I mean, this game does remind me of one of my old series' (hehe). And I guess, as a fan of stupid humor, I'll have to check out the other 2 games. But, give this game a shot, it's not the best, and definitely not the funniest, but it's a mediocre way of passing time.
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Look! The beaver! Oh yeah, and you fight yourself! Hehe, the beaver! |
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Final Scores
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Graphics: 2/10.0 |
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Aweful. But it gets a 1.5 for the beaver. Hehehe. Awesome. Looked like pure uhh... scribble?
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Storyline: 1.5/10.0
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Dragged out and not very good as it was. Basically, find the bad guy and save the day. That's all right, but some detail would've been appreciated. |
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Gameplay: 2/10.0 |
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Hardly enough to pass the time. It wasn't good though.
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Music: 1.5/10.0
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AWEFUL! Go rip some new music if you want to rip anything! |
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Enjoyment: 1/10.0
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If not for the beaver this review wouldn't be made at all. It lacked so much that it couldn't even be worth playing. I'm suprised at it's download count too. |
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Overall Grade:
F |
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| Final Thoughts |
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Reminds me of a certain one eyed triangle... Without all the homosexual assault discrimination... |
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