| Them's Fightin'
Words |
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A boring adventure! A lack of real plot! A stupid name! Town Traveler boasts all of these points, and SO MUCH MORE!
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| Graphics |
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"The walkabouts were done by Sparrowhawk," the game description reads, and, while the walkabouts are half decent, at best, all of the other graphics aren't any good. Too much gradient, too much airbrush, too much suck. These graphics aren't anyhing that I appreciated.
There was a ripped skeleton in it, too.
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| Storyline |
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Confusing is the best word to desribe this monstrosity. Nothing made any sense and that's all I can say. "Pep" ("Dumb" is so much more fitting) travels between towns without reason, without purpose, without motivation. Along the way, he'll meet various pieces of "Burntcrap" that want to kill him for no particular reason, millions of nameless npcs that somehow know his name, and two other heroes that won't even try to give him a reason before joining his party.
You'll wince when "Pep" meets the evil Crapman, who destroys the world! You'll shrug when "Pep" goes to the Regenation, to wish that the world wasn't destroyed anymore! You'll grimace when "Pep" has to fight himself to make such a wish! And just wait until you find a Mega Stick on the ground on your way to fight Crapman, ONE LAST TIME!
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| Gameplay |
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Just go about your business, folks, nothing of interest here.
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Battle |
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There are about five different enemies in this game. Two of them have the same graphic, different palette, one of them is ripped, and the other two are "Burntcrap" and Crapman. There is nothing good about these battles, and nothing that should make you want to play this game. There is, however, a scan attack that heals your enemy completely instead of telling you how much life he has left, a few battles that need nothing more than the enter key (just forget about those arrow keys!), and an overwhelming sense that your life is worthless if you cannot make a game better than this.
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Map Design |
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Nothing interesting. There were a couple of side-scrolling maps, but that didn't matter, 'cos they were totally pointless straight lines. The water animation on the world map was so fast it was scary, and all of the maps were, for the most part, totally pointless. Too many random battles in the Forest of Regenation, too.
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Balance |
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Balance is not a concept that I expect the author of this game is familiar with, 'cos, dude, this game didn't have it.
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| Music |
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If you'd like comments on this, please mail me a sound card.
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| Enjoyment |
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I did not enjoy the time I spent playing this game. Could you tell?
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| Final Blows |
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I want my 25 minutes back. This game stole them, and I want them back.
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Pointless side-scrolling ACTION! |
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Final Scores
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Graphics: 3.5/10.0 |
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Decent walkabouts, terrible everything else.
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Storyline: 1/10.0
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This game is a disgrace to writers everywhere. |
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Gameplay: 2/10.0 |
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So, the spells did more damage, so what? It was still dreadfully boring.
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Music: 5/10.0
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Can't hear it, sorry. |
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Enjoyment: 1/10.0
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Very, very boring. I miss the days when Bugaman Quest and Magnus were the worst OHR games out there... |
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Overall Grade:
F- |
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| Final Thoughts |
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Possibly the worst game ever released, this week. |
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