Castle Paradox :: Game Review

Castle Paradox

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OMG TIZ ROXORZ vs. PIcaRDMPC

Them's Fightin' Words
		I'm still berating myself for even taking a look at this game, let alone download and play it, if you could actually call what goes on playing. It's one of the poorest excuses for a game I've ever seen.
Graphics
		A bunch of stick-figures and some filled in stuff. There's nothing else, period.
Storyline
		Breaks out laughing What storyline?! There's about two textboxes in the entire game, which consist of text that is extremely confusing.
Gameplay
		Nothing at all. Basically, you just read a couple textboxes while watching a green stick-figure walk along a ledge and fall into spikes.
	Battle
		No battles at all.
	Map Design
		One map, I think it was 16X10, but I couldn't really tell the scale. It was just a ledge, and a lower piece of ground covered in spikes.
	Balance
		Breaks out laughing again You watch a stick-figure fall off a ledge into spikes, and that's it. Does that tell you it's balance?
Music
		There wasn't anything to hear at all, not even a ripped track from the creator.
Enjoyment
		I'd say it's about as enjoyable as taking two cymbals made of steel and bashing them into your head about twenty times.
Final Blows
		Overall, it appeared to be something done in about five minutes, with no line of thinking whatsoever. And considering the game's creator, I'm likely to recieve a confusing and threating e-mail over this review.

Final Scores

Graphics: 1/10.0

I've done better than these graphics, and I'm horrible at drawing.

Storyline: 1/10.0

There wasn't anything to even be considered as a storyline, unless of course you call a stick-figure falling into spikes a storyline.

Gameplay: 1/10.0

The player does nothing except read two textboxes and watch a stick-figure fall into spikes. 'Nuff said.

Music: 1/10.0

What music?

Enjoyment: 1/10.0

If you can somehow manage to squeeze a microgram of enjoyment out of this, then you are one sad, sad person.

Overall Grade: F-

Final Thoughts
		If you need to waste about a minute or so of time, download this game. Otherwise, don't even touch it; avoid it as if it was something that could give you AIDS.