| Them's Fightin'
Words |
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Barely 20 years after suffering a defeat in one of the bloodiest wars the world had ever seen, a small landlocked nation was revitalized by a charismatic leader, and set out to exact revenge on those who had wronged them. Usually, a tale like this is regaled as one of a scrappy underdog, who took on the odds, and won.
But you won't see Disney making a movie about this time in history, with Denzel Washington as the charismatic coach, because the country I'm referring to is Germany, the year is 1939, and that coach is Hitler.
This is a game about Hitler.
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| Graphics |
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The graphics are rather impressive. The usage of symbolism in the designs are readily apparent, and the political undertones thick. But relax, this isn't the New York Times. There's still plenty of color, and eye candy to go around.
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| Storyline |
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In the alternate history of this game, the Jews were the real winners of World War 2. Exploiting the world's sympathy for their plight, they surprised and overthrew the Allied forces, and rule the world under a big kosher boot.
You play Laz Aship, a proud member of the Hitler Youth, and the first man into Space. (Take that, Yuri Gagarin!). Don't think you're safe yet, though. The Jews seek the COMPLETE extermination of the Nazi Party, and have pursued you into the stars. Whose laser weaponry will prove dominant? That's up to you, the player, to decide.
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| Gameplay |
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You don't have to worry about your reading glasses for long though. This game is more walkin' than talkin', and you'll be in battle with the Jewish Space Patrol (JSP for short) from nearly the first moment to the glorious ending.
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Battle |
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There's only one of you, and a ton of Jew. You'd better be ready for battle, and heal when you can, because otherwise the Nazis are toast.
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Map Design |
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The Map Design is suitably simplistic. The vast void of space has been reduced to a meager meadow of stars, although I will admit I was shocked to see the Jewish Space Fortress for the first time.
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Balance |
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I'm not gonna lie, the odds are against you. You'll have to use every option at your disposal to come out of this alive, and even then, it might take you a few times to finally win out.
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| Music |
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My speakers aren't functional, but I thought I could hear every man, woman, and child let out a heartfelt "DEEEEEEUSTCHELAND DEUSTCHELAND!!" as I struck back for those who had been oppressed.
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| Enjoyment |
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I came.
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| Final Blows |
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It's not often you get to take the role of the underdog, and rewrite history. But this is one of those times, and if Disney and Denzel don't want to take part, to hell with them.
If you have any sympathy for the Nazi Party, this is the game for you.
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A great attempt at realism. You don't speak German, so you don't really understand the heroes speech. |
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Final Scores
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Graphics: 3.5/10.0 |
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Started out underwhelming, but the final bosses were pretty impressive.
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Storyline: 2/10.0
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I've always loved a good "What If" story. This game left me asking "What if there'd been a story?" |
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Gameplay: 1/10.0 |
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You get what you pay for, people.
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Music: 10/10.0
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o/ !FM RADIO HOORAY! o/ |
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Enjoyment: 2.5/10.0
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All the Nazis among us are going to have a field day. |
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Overall Grade:
F+ |
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| Final Thoughts |
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Any Final Thoughts?
Nope, I think I covered everything. |
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