Castle Paradox

junahu · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:55 am Post subject:

Jabbercat briefly chastised the previous post-er for not reading all 11 pages of this thread and rushed back to mount knife. As he looked upon the well a plan soon began to ferment in Jabbercat's mind. As swift as his waning power could, he charged head long into the well, the stack of the well shifted a few inches away from the eternal hole that it covered. Several more charges and the stack had been completely shifted away from the hole. Before Jabbercat's own eyes the endless mirror effect of the hole faded leaving the hole's nateral black inky darkness. He heard a clatter from far below which indicated that his plan worked and the shard had finally come to rest at the bottom of the pit. Jabbercat wearily began his desent into the abyss.

Tipco, being senile and more inane than even tipwhip the inane, began haggling to them again that they had to get to the top of mount knife, which funnily enough would take them miles out of the way. Rufus promptly shut him up and explained that they would fare better if they headed east and found the 45 other pieces of tin rather than dash off and stop Jabbercat from getting ONE. Tipco started to wander away from the group and declared that he alone would stop Jabbercat from getting the shard. The rest of the companions didn't give it a second though, since Tipco was getting really annoying anyway, and left without him.

Sinnek (who I bet we've all forgotten by now) had finally caught up with the +13 setu word tape dragon and demanded that Minnek be set free. Being a dragon and all, the word tape dragon promptly lunged at Sinnek and gouged out a sizable clawfull of armor. Sinnek stumbled and fell backwards, he struggled to get up and rolled sideways just in time to avoid the dragon as it leapt toward him. In great haste Sinnek used...
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jabbercat · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 7:40 am Post subject:

Self-destruct , killing himself. But the Jabbercat had forseen this (as always) and casted animate dead. "They're always more obediant when they're dead" With his new found undead champion, Jabbercat started the ritual to raise hios new army...

Liquidmentality · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 4:37 pm Post subject:

Which he promptly named: The Underskirt Nannies.

O' the horrors they left in their wake could give even the boldest 3rd grader a disturbing dream!

Thus they sallied forth to their ultimate goal! Their bold leader leading the lead as leaders do! Much amused by his nefarious undertakings, jabbercat giggled maniacly and said...
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Witty signatures suck!

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 5:21 pm Post subject:

"I'm KING OF THE WOOOOORLD!!!" Then, to secure this new self proclaimed possition, he killed the REAL king of the world.

TipCo, being hurt from becoming so brutally outcast, started thinking of what he should do next. If he decided to join teh dark side he could end up helping his enemies who want to kill him. If he forgave the other companions and rejoined them, then he might have a chance to kill them AFTER HE KILLED JABBERCAT. Then he conciderred how stupid and clesh'e he was being... He decided to apologize the the other companions and help them again.

Meanwhile, the Voo Doo Master caught up with Jabbercat and demanded his soul. Jabbercat Cackled deviously and orderred Sinnek to "Sick Balls"!
The perfect brainless minion obeyed no matter how repulsing the task.
The Voo Doo Master crawled out of range of Jabbercat and Sinnek; screaming in agony and leaving a trail of blood and other smelly bodily fluid behind him. To speed his passage in death, Jabbercat finnished him off himself; clawing him into a million miniscule pieces with his patented attack "THE IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" (blatent Inuyasha rip off, I know...)

Now what?...
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Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2004 5:00 am Post subject:

... Now unfortunately, Jabbercat had forgotten what a voo doo doll actually did. As Voo doo master lay in a pile of his own straw, Jabbercat was hit by the full recoil of his attack thus almost mortally wounding him. Jabbercat lay there almost helples as Voo doo master struggled to his feet and shuffled towards him. Realising there was no other way out of this situation, Jabbercat took out a small satchel from his pocket. The satchel contained all the shards he had collected thus far. Using the last of his mind blow powers, Jabbercat introveneously inserted the shards into his bloodstream. Although the sharp edges were tearing his blood vessels apart as they inched slowely around his body, the shrads invigorated his with there power. Jabbercat leapt semi heroically (remembering that he is an evil character and not indeed a hero anymore) at voo doo master and hurled him into the ocean. Although this meant that Jabbercat would drown aswell, he was already dead so this did not bother him in the slightest. Surging with new power Jabbercat raced off with his army of underskirt nannies to find the remaing godden spam tin shards.

The turtle companions finally made it to the eastern coast where the rest of the tin shards had been hidden. Tipwhip got a shovel and started digging which led to a random enemy battle with...
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2004 11:02 pm Post subject:

The man from CHINA!

TipWhip and The rest of the party were particularly baffled. They weren't sure how this happened. They weren't even on planet Earth! But oh well...

TipTurp charged the seemingly innocent smiling Man from china with his broad FlintLeaf sword (which he had the entire time, but had forgotten about it...) The Man from china, however, was a very skilled martial artist, and grabbed TipTurp and tossed him aside like a hand full of salt.

Then it was TipWhip's turn. He jumped high into the sky, and was blocked from view by the bright midday sun. Then he used the heat from the light rays to heat his own body. He held his two hands parallel to eachother, and the empty space between them filled suddenly with a roaring living flame. Then he chucked the fire ball with a "WOO-HOO!" and the China man was engulfed by fire!

The China man brushed his fire proof silk atire off. He was baddly charred, but only slightly burned on his face. Then he jumped into the air towards the sun. He kicked TipWhip into the ocean.

Then he spoke... "Haha! You silly stupid turtle man! I kick you in cold ocean to cool you off now! HA!"

Annoyed by bad grammar, TipCo jumped out of the bushes he was hiding in and formed a wall surrounding him and the China man. He then constricted the China man while his own force shield held off his force constrict attack. The China man was pressed to a singularity...

TipCo hoverred down majestically and gentally rested his feet on the ground. The other companions were a mixtre a furiosity and sadness for the loss of the China man who only wanted to play. They sneered at TipCo.

"I thought we agreed to never see eachother again!" Bellowed Rufus.

TipCo looked shocked. He thought he was helping them. There was nothing else for him to do except...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

Liquidmentality · Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 1:37 am Post subject:

...cut himself to let the pain out!

Realizing he wasn't an angst-filled teen, he decided that enough was enough! No longer would he put up with the ridcule and hate from his companions!
He flew away - I'm not sure how - to hatch a scheme of vengence so Machiavellishly complicated, it would take no less than a LIVE jabbercat to come up with!

And thus, a new twist is added to the story!

I like exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Witty signatures suck!

junahu · Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:59 am Post subject:

The beach took an entire afternoon to excavate and when he was done, tipwhip held aloft an armload of sparkling shards. Over the next seven days they worked hard and tirelessly to weld the shards together (using tipwhip to conjure up a bright blue soldering flame). When it was finished Rufus suggested that maybe they should be destroying the shards rather than fixing them together again. Tipturp threw a rock at him for not mentioning this earlier. It made a nice hollow "THUNK!" which made the group laugh away their aches and pains. Tipwhip afterwards began to conjure up fire5 to destroy the recontructed section of tin, but secretly he began breaking sections off and storing them in his satchel since having the tin shards near him seemed to give him more power than usual (and not realising the evil eminance that the tin radiating from its surface).

Suddenly from over a pile of sandy rocks emerged Baron Duckula, concealed in his usual black shroud. Tipwhip immediately ceased his actions and leapt into action by...
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Leonhart · Joined: 25 Feb 2004 Posts: 383 Location: Philippines

...using his pogo stick he bought in China. He used that and took out a...

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:42 pm Post subject:

Script... He never went to china. Perhaps the laws of space and time were crumbling! TipWhip was baffled, but he just blew it off with his philosophy; "Oh well". He used the newly found pogo-stick to "spring" attack Baron duckula! The baron skillfully dodged the attack, and fled for his life. He didn't want to be ganged up on, so he began to skillfully plot a new "divide and conquer plan". the companions searched all over the surrounding forest/jungle, but baron Duckula was nowhere, not even detectable signs were left behind. But he lurked away under an invisability cloak, breathing hard and groping the thick vines around him. He was miles away now...

The companions knew that the shards were safe. But just in case, Rufus set some traps around the area, and had tipTurp enchant them to come to life only when a menacing person would excavate the precious shards.

Sensing that someone had some of the shards, the traps pointed at TipWhip. tipWhip jumped back. The others thought this was perculiar, but quickly forgot about it...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:19 am Post subject:

...Of course the third time this happened, tipturp and rufus got very suspicious and perfomed a random cavity search. Rufus reached into tipwhip's satchel. "OW!". The shards pricked his feathery skin, leaving an evil presence in his blood stream. He demanded that tiwhip empty his satchel and destroy the shards.

Baron duckula saw his chance as the two heroes began to show heated tensions. The Baron then started to use his ventriliqiusm.

"You're nothing but a big smelly duck!"
"What did you say?"
"I said nothing, honest"
"I said you were big and smelly"
"Hey! If you're looking for a fight..."
"Really, I didn't say anything"
"well you're an ugly little wart turtle"
"(gasp) You didn't have to say that you stupid fowl"
"Stupid?!"

Fufus attacked (for probably the first time since ever) and tipwhip...
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Leonhart · Joined: 25 Feb 2004 Posts: 383 Location: Philippines

...just stood there. He couldn't move! He suddenly realized that he was standing on quicksand!!!!! He slowly started to sink...

"How did this get here?"

Luckily...

junahu · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 5:46 am Post subject:

He had learned a water element attack from no particular stage of their previous journey and used it to wash away the quick sand... Unluckily water only enhances the sinking properties of quicksand and Tipwhip became even more stuck... Luckily again the quicksand could absorb the brunt of Rufus' clobber attack (a law of physics unknown to the world until the pokemon animated series) and even knock Rufus back. Disarmed by this revelation, Rufus was quite literally a sitting duck ( Ha ha ha!

) for tipwhip's attacks.

Luckily for him though, Tipwhip overheard the narrative and couldn't control a fit of giggles. With tipWhip incapacitated by the narrators unwitting pun, Rufus stood back up and relieved him of his satchel of shards and threw them far into the ocean. After a momentary urge to jump into the ocean after the shards, tipwhip and Rufus apologised to one another in a typical storybook manner and pondered what they should do next...

Baron Duckula was furious at his foiled plot and promptly contacted Prince Palidian Gary to inform him of the failure but as he raised the cell phone to his ear hole, Duckula saw the companions leave, leaving the shards just off shore. He clapped his wings together in glee (inadvertantly destroying the cell phone in the process) and gathered a crew for his hitherto unannounced 'Maladarine' (a submarine) to excavate the sea bed.

Jabbercat spyed the Baron through a dense patch of foliage and overheard the location of the shards. The fools had led them directly to the remaining shards! Gift wrapped even! And with Jabbercat's sub aquatic abilities, the shards would be recovered in no time at all.

Meanwhile, the companions were celebrating after yet another anticlimax to the plot left them with nothing left to acomplish. Tipwhip looked upon the buffet table and ate...
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:31 pm Post subject:

Everything but one dinner roll. The others (Rufus and TipTurp) were fighting over the last victual (pronounced vittle) when Baron Duckula birst through the doors and laughed fiendishly. Jabbercat shuffled behind him hiding in a bush, and the underskirt nannies were shuffling behind him in equally strange bushes.

Baron Duckula wore the shards recoverred from the sea around his neck and demanded to know where the others were burried. he had missed the part where they hid them... Oookay...

"Burried by all the booby traps, you ninny!" Rufus blerted out thoughtlessly and then laughed at his own stupidity. everyone else joined in in corny after episode laughter. But this was not the end of the episode...

"But it doesn't matter, TipTurp here enchanted the traps so they are virtually impossible to find and they shoot you when you get too close to the shards!" Rufus broke broke out laughing again. This time Baron Duckula was not ammused...

"Then get them for me!" He bellowed. "Or I and my possy of equally strange bushes will weed whack you!"

Just now noticing the irregularity of the whole matter; there being wierd bushes following him to the companions; Baron Duckula swifty turned around and was greeted by Jabbercat's beaming decayed face, mocking him with sinister yellow teeth.
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2004 4:14 am Post subject:

The foolish duck had not only led him directly to tipturp, Rufus and an incapacitated Tipwhip, revealed the location of the remaining shards and wore many of the shards around his neck, but he had also led him directly to LeRoy_Leo's free webspace on geocities. Through right clicks, ctrl v commands and suffix concatenation Jabbercat unearthed sketches of a new breed of uber turtle which would later be a great use to him.

Jabbercat snatched at the dangling necklace and pulled it tight, the shards gouging Duckula's feathery neck. Duckula couldn't scream, his voicebox had been torn open. Blood gargled and spilled out of his mouth. With one final yank the necklace came free and Baron Duckula lay prone and lifeless in a slumped heap on the floor.

Without hesitation Jabbercat...
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