Castle Paradox

[Gizmog1]

I looked out my window this morning, and on my front porchstep, what did I see? Two little birdies were looking at me! I put on my trousers, and put on my coat, and fetched me a cookie, made out of oats!

These birdies I saw, would we be tough to rattle, and so thought The Giz, "I'll set them to battle"! A flick of the wrist set the cookie to flight, 'twas aimed right between them, to hasten the fight!

The birds pecked and they flitted, but both were still bashful, so yours truely conspired, to make them more wrathful! "I must construct a great cage", said I! "Surely, that will inspire their rage!"

Checking my appointments I had nothing to do, so I set to the market, for wood and for glue! Returning to home quite later that day, I found both birds and the cookie had happened to stay!

Knowing the two would be destined for fame, the author in I gave them each name! "Take heart and fly true, you are now Aunt Peg and Aunt Sue"! No longer facing anonymous combatants, I deployed the cage and scared the birds rampant!

The cookie not working Giz ventured to up stakes, bearbaiting the birds with biscuits and cakes! Caged, Enraged at their merciless plight, round and round Peg and Sue flew, constant in flight!

Seeing the feathers were still hard to anger, I called up my friend, the loyal Park Ranger! Said he to me, "Birds it would seem, are quite territorial! If that doesn't get 'em, rocks from a quarry'll!"

Quickly and gladly I gathered up gravel, leaving said rocks with little distance to travel, how I threw the pebbles and stones I had chucked, two dogs ate spaghetti, and later they fucked!

Peg quickly bit Sew which pleased me quite good, "Look my dear Nancy, Peg's drawn the first blood!" Sue gave her a slap, a gentle wingflap, and to my great surprise, she viciously attacked Peg's eyes!

"Success! I have set these fair birds against their own kind, and if luck has it's way, one soon will be blind"! For proof, I decided I would need photographic, so I dialed to the office, of National Geographic!

"Sparrows that can murder and kill? Oh, how my editor will thrill!" a reported exclaimed, and hurried with sirens to the address I named! Camera upon camera made flashes and flashes, whilst Sue throttled Peg with slashes and lashes!

Sue obviously felt that some mercy was due, when Peg could not contain her own poo, some were appalled at this stinky distraction, but for me it was clearly the main attraction. My people and I sat patiently a-fappin', hoping in vain for the bloodshed to happen.

For sorry I admit, to those who have read, that neither yon bird will wind up dead. The police arrived, and my face must have paled, when Sergeant O'Hara told us to stop or be jailed.

"Fuck you, cop!" I yelled, and pissed on his roses, so the officer cuffed us, and beat us with hoses. Because of my feat of flower whizzin', the judge committed us to federal prison. Be brave loyal reader, and never fear, there is news yet to hear.

Before you go angry, and lootin', and mobbin', it may please you to know that we've captured a robin.