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I Made Dis - Reviewed by Uncommon

Authortim Interviewed by Gizmog1 and JSH375

Authortim, Interviewd by Gizmog1/Jsh357 (who was doing the interviewing?! O_o)

Warning: Contains strong language, degrading comments regarding sex and the female gender, etc. Bascially, your typical Gizmog on IRC. :P


<JSH357> ok, then I'll get this started
<JSH357> Tim
<Gizmog> Okay, ladies, let's get this ball rolling
<JSH357> I think the world wants to know...
<Authortim> Lay it on me
<JSH357> What do you have in store for us next with LOLWTF comix and when will we be seeing it?
<Authortim> Well gentlemen, the next lolwtf comix will be an lolwtf movie
<Authortim> And I don't know when i'll get around to making that
<JSH357> oh, and those who don't know about this goldy comic:
<JSH357> http://www.drunkduck.com/lolwtf_comix/index.php
<Uncommon> LOLWTF COMIX: THE NOT-COMIX MOVIE?
<Authortim> Probably flash but maybe a liveaction movie if I can get my "director" friend to help
<Authortim> You know it
<JSH357> Ah, you mean Hunter?
<Uncommon> Brilliant.
<Authortim> Nah, he couldn't direct his way out a wet paper bag
<Authortim> But niether can my director friend
<JSH357> Regardless, tell us a little about your deep, possibly sexual, relationship with the nefarious Hunter Green.
<Authortim> We faught together in Nam
<Authortim> That is all you need to know about that
<JSH357> Ah, like me and Giz
<Gizmog> 'nam was hell
<JSH357> Well, I'm out of questions
<Authortim> I don't want to talk about it
<Gizmog> I swear, the next time I see a village get raped
<JSH357> giz
<Gizmog> Well, let's just say, it always brings back memories of me and JSH.
<JSH357> I didn't tell you this...
<Gizmog> Anyway, Authortim
<Gizmog> If that's your real name
<JSH357> But you were really drunk that night
<Gizmog> I'm rather curious
<JSH357> It was you who raped that village
<Gizmog> What's under the bag?
<Gizmog> Fuck off man, you were there too
<JSH357> <_<
<Gizmog> All holding them to the bed
<Gizmog> All helping spreading the unwilling ones
<JSH357> I threw out the purple heartsm though
<JSH357> So at least I have no guilt
<Authortim> What is under the bag?
<Authortim> DANGER
<Authortim> Is under the bag
<JSH357> Danger
<JSH357> That reminds me
<Authortim> And mystery
<Uncommon> You are a dangerous man, Tim Taylor.
<JSH357> Rodney Dangerfield died just a few weeks ago
<JSH357> How does this make you feel?
<Uncommon> But not a shadowy past.
<JSH357> What impact did he have on your life and philosophy?
<Authortim> All my philosphy and wisdom I got from Hannah Barbara's The Funky Phantom
<Gizmog> Aw man!
<Gizmog> That's the shit, brutha!
<Authortim> Oh, and The Hairbear Bunch
<JSH357> What about Hitler?
<JSH357> Seanbaby?
<Authortim> Eh, Hitler was a douchebag
<JSH357> surely they had some influence
<Authortim> And he owes me $20 dollars
<Uncommon> I have a question.
<Authortim> Yes?
<Gizmog> (Psst: JSH: Little town in Illinois, name of Haddonfield. Population 250. Wanna relive the old days this weekend?)
<Uncommon> Where do you get off being one day younger than I am?
<JSH357> (Psst: Giz: Maybe, but I'm gonna need more granny lube. You got any?)
<Uncommon> February's MINE.
<Authortim> I blame society
<Gizmog> (Hell, what kind of question is thaT?)
<Gizmog> (I always got granny lube)
<JSH357> (Just testing you)
<Authortim> There isn't room enough in that month big enough for the both of us
<Gizmog> Alright, let's get down to the meat and gravy of this interview
<Uncommon> Okay, that's my one novelty question out of the way.
<Authortim> Uncommon i'm callin you out!
<Uncommon> I'll go back to commentating now.
<Uncommon> I'll take you down, man!
<Uncommon> 7 o' clock!
<Authortim> No way you old geezer, you don't stand a chance
<Uncommon> I like to do my killing before breakfast!
<Gizmog> Tim. Timmy. Timotee.
<Gizmog> Alright, let's work that into the question
<Gizmog> If killing Uncommon
<Gizmog> Would give you a night of passionate lovemaking
<Gizmog> With any woman at all
<Gizmog> What woman would it be?
<Gizmog> And would you regret killing Uncommon?
<Authortim> Bea Arthur
<Uncommon> My bipolar sister, and yes.
<Authortim> Shit wait
<Gizmog> Bea Arthur?
<Authortim> Eh, Uncommon had it coming
<Gizmog> Tim, man. There's hot chicks
<Gizmog> And then there's Maude
<Uncommon> She's got looks, BUT WATCH OUT!
<JSH357> Tim, let's get a little more serious here for a second
<Authortim> Please
<JSH357> As all of us know..
<JSH357> You have a drinking problem
<JSH357> It started out small, but now it's gotten bad
<Authortim> I wont deny it
<JSH357> How's the treatment going?
<JSH357> And how many more little girls' lives will it take?
<Authortim> No less than thirty
<Authortim> But that's besides the point
<Authortim> As I don't have a problem
<JSH357> (Giz: I just thought of something... we could booze 'em up first. Might make 'em a little more willing)
<Authortim> YOU'RE the one with the problem!
<Gizmog> (It might be hard to find the booze)
<Authortim> You think you know ne but you don't
<Gizmog> (Second probably is, of course)
<JSH357> (We could just ask Tim)
<Gizmog> (How the hell do we get a whole town drunk)
<JSH357> (Let's do it now, back in the public room)
<Uncommon> So...Tim...
<Gizmog> (Yeah, but then he might call first dibs on the virgins and minors)
<Authortim> Poison the water supply?
<JSH357> (Oh yeah)
<Uncommon> ...What are your thoughts on...
<Gizmog> (And they're the best part of raping a villagE)
<JSH357> (Well, we can always kill him)
<Uncommon> ...KITTYLOAFs?
<Authortim> White or Rye?
<Gizmog> (My thoughts exactly, we get him drunk to.)
<Gizmog> Calico.
<Uncommon> Honey wheat.
<Authortim> I've tasted better
<JSH357> Living or dead?
<Gizmog> Personally, I like to bite the ears off first
<Gizmog> Then the gentials
<Gizmog> Er, gentails
<Gizmog> Er, genitals
<JSH357> I have another serious thing to discuss, if it's all right
<Authortim> I leave the preparing to the women
<Uncommon> I like to cut into the fleshy bits and get a good chunk out for a sandwich.
<Gizmog> Alright, but don't let this get too serious
<Gizmog> This is a light interview, JSGH
<JSH357> OHR Community member Junahu recently admitted that she would remain a virgin for the rest of her life
<Gizmog> Uh, JSH
<JSH357> Now, Giz and I find this preposterous
<Gizmog> That was JJKaybomb
<JSH357> Oh
<JSH357> Really?
<JSH357> I can't tell holes apart
<Gizmog> Yeah
<JSH357> But regardless of the name/gender
<Gizmog> Me neither, but her name was written in her underwear
<JSH357> Is that nuts or what?
<Uncommon> Junahu's supposed to be a box, actually.
<JSH357> Also, what should be done about her?
<Authortim> Yeah that is pretty wacky
<Uncommon> Did I say that?
<JSH357> I swear this is the last serious question
<Authortim> I reccomend a full frontal lobotomy
<Gizmog> I don't know, I personally thought it was kind of sad
<Gizmog> And felt sorry for her
<JSH357> Yeah
<Authortim> I can relate though
<JSH357> She probably didn't get enough love as a child
<Gizmog> Sounded like she might've gotten too much.
<Uncommon> Okay, I'm still trying to figure out how "box" got into that sentence.
<JSH357> I think Unc's surfing here and "surfing" in another window
<Gizmog> No, J
<Gizmog> He's just masturbating
<Uncommon> This is why you shouldn't carry on multiple conversations at once.
<Gizmog> In a minute, he'll splooge all over the screen
<Gizmog> And we'll be done
<JSH357> But this interview is about Tim, not SilentAngel
<Gizmog> Or, he'll be done
<JSH357> Now, on a less serious suject, who are you gonna vote for?
<Authortim> Yeah, lets talk about me
<Authortim> I am going to write TIM TAYLOR on the ballot
<JSH357> Sweet
<Gizmog> AMEN!
<JSH357> Me too, now
<Authortim> I suggest you do the same
<JSH357> In fact, let's all do it
<Gizmog> I will, Tim
<Uncommon> I might actually vote now.
<JSH357> Who's the running mate?
<Uncommon> Giz, you can't vote. :(
<Authortim> Tim Taylor for a better America!
<Authortim> I don't know
<Gizmog> Uncommon, I'm going to vote more than once
<Gizmog> So who gives a shit that I'm underage to boot?
<Gizmog> Now, question:
<Gizmog> Tim, what's one thing you look forward to accomplishing most in life?
<Uncommon> So much for "no more serious questions", eh?
<Authortim> Well, i've always wanted to rob a liquer store
<Authortim> However it's spelled
<JSH357> serious?
<Gizmog> Ah, a liquor store hold up
<Gizmog> Can I help?
<Gizmog> I'm pretty handy with a gun
<Authortim> Please do
<Gizmog> Fun stuff
<JSH357> Yeah, he owns a brothel and all
<Gizmog> Now, speaking of sex
<Gizmog> When you're orally pleasing hte ladies
<Gizmog> How do you deal with bodily fluids getting on your paper bag?
<Gizmog> I mean, do you clean that sucker?
<Gizmog> Or do you have more than one?
<JSH357> Shadow won't accept this now :p
<JSH357> So we can afford to get dirtier
<Authortim> Uh, speaking of robberies...
<JSH357> Hey Shadow: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
<Authortim> Actually, I do kind of have a robbery related anecdote
<Uncommon> Hey, guys, less kidnap Scyree and restart BS:OHR.
<JSH357> Do tell
<Authortim> Only it's short and anticlimactic
<Uncommon> *let's
<Gizmog> Hell, Shadow won't even read it
<Gizmog> I fucked Shadow's momma last night
<Gizmog> He'll just post it like a good nigga should.
<Gizmog> I just have to send it in, formatted, and etc. and it'll get posted no problem
<Gizmog> Got a robbery related anecodte?
<Uncommon> Seriously, let's get his address, get in there, and kidnap the bastard.
<Gizmog> Spill it, Timmy
<Authortim> Last night I was hanging out with my "director friend" and he proposed we go rob a McDonalds
<Authortim> Obviously, I said I was game
<Uncommon> We'll give him food when he writes articles!
<JSH357> that's the end
<Authortim> So when we drive up to the McDonalds, I assume we are just going to buy food and that the robbing thing was a joke
<Uncommon> And give him a night at La Casa de Senoritas dela Noche when he gets an issue done!
<Authortim> And then my friend goes "Tim, reach under the car seat" and I say what for
<Gizmog> Casa De Senorita de Noche
<Authortim> And he says "Just fucking do it"
<Uncommon> Just one?
<Gizmog> It was founded by an illiterate spaniard
<Uncommon> Damn, boy, you need to hire some more hos.
<Gizmog> Oh, Senoritas
<Authortim> So I reach under said seat and I pull out a Desert Eagle, of all things
<JSH357> now, to clarify for the uninformed
<JSH357> aka me
<JSH357> is that a bird, or what?
<Uncommon> It's a gun.
<Authortim> We ended up just buying food, but still
<JSH357> ok
<Authortim> My heart skipped a beat when I felt the handle of that gun
<JSH357> Wow, that certainly was a fantastic epic
<JSH357> would make a great storyline for Guy Fawkes Day Quest
<Uncommon> Indeed.
<JSH357> So Tim, I assume you don't mess around too much with the OHRRPGCE anymore.
<Authortim> I never have, really
<JSH357> Yet the game you made [OMFG!] was brilliant
<Authortim> But i'm thinking about LOLWTF:OHR
<JSH357> ah, you beat me to the question
<JSH357> that sounds RAD2DMAX
<Authortim> Oh belive me, it will blow your mind
<Uncommon> TOTALLY RAD.
<Gizmog> If you had to choose someone in the community, who's making games that are completely the opposite of yours, who would you say that is?
<JSH357> OHR people still make games?!
<Authortim> For someone to make games that were the opposite of mine, I would have to have made games in the first place
<Uncommon> This is true.
<JSH357> ah-hem
<JSH357> you made a contest game
<JSH357> It was pretty similar to I Made Dis
<Uncommon> But if there were any games that were the exact opposite of LOLWTF COMIX, what would it be?
<Authortim> I mean, I tinker with the OHR and I know it like the back of my hand
<Authortim> But i've never had the motivation to follow through and make a game
<Uncommon> But if there were any games that were the exact opposite of LOLWTF COMIX, what would they be?
<JSH357> (Giz: Shit, I just realized that I'm working with a DIFFERENT village on that same day)
<Authortim> Hmm...
<JSH357> (Can we reschedule, or did you already order the sedatives?)
<Gizmog> (Ow!)
<Gizmog> (Well, I can put the sedatives on ice)
<Authortim> Any of Rinku's games, because he takes himself too seriously
<Gizmog> (But I'd already gotten the attack dogs all primed to fight the men)
<JSH357> (That could work. I owe you $5, now)
<Gizmog> (So, they'll be disappointed)
<JSH357> (Well)
<Authortim> Where as with LOLWTF Comix, i'm usually not even awake when I make them
<JSH357> (Let them have a few of the older ones)
<JSH357> (I don't want them anyway, plus it makes good news)
<Uncommon> And, let's not forget, LOLWTF COMIX are ENJOYABLE. :D
<Authortim> Hey, speak for yourself
<JSH357> Hey! Uh... Never Go West was... fun
<Uncommon> Blame that on Harlock.
<Uncommon> Rinku was totally lazy with that game.
<JSH357> of course
<Uncommon> Battle graphics? Rinku's fault.
* Uncommon has a good memory.
<JSH357> Tim, what's the worst OHR Game you've ever played?
<JSH357> And be honest
<Authortim> Well, i've played a lot of bad OHR games...
<Authortim> But recently, my current least favorite game is TSUNAMI CITY because jesus have you played that thing?
<Authortim> I don't think Tsunamidog did
<Uncommon> Oh, GOD, yes.
<Uncommon> That thing...
<Uncommon> ...Hurt.
<Gizmog> Haha
<JSH357> I never download games with the author's name clearly in the title
<Gizmog> Haha
<Authortim> For mor protection take this Revolver.Good luck!
<Authortim> An exact qoute
<Authortim> And quite possibly the best thing I have ever read in my entire life
<JSH357> Tim, have you ever killed a police officer? We have witnesses, so don't try to lie.
<Authortim> Hey, it was in self defense
<Authortim> He came at me first
<JSH357> That's what I thought
<Gizmog> Say, Tim
<Authortim> And he fell on my switchblade
<Authortim> What
<Gizmog> How do you feel about rape?
<Gizmog> And if not rape
<Uncommon> Hey, if a police officer was trying to rape ME, I'd've done the same thing.
<Gizmog> Do you think that Mick Jagger, singing Sympathy for the Devil, was a song referencing his own view of himself?
<Authortim> Uh... what are you talking about... I never raped anyone...
<Authortim> I agree
<JSH357> Tell us a little about your college. You scored any snatch yet?
<JSH357> We don't care about the rest
<Authortim> I don't know if I would call it a college
<JSH357> Well, like I said
<Authortim> Also, I get all the babes
<Uncommon> Something about the mysterious, not-shadowy past, of the bag.
<Authortim> Exactly
<Uncommon> Girls love a dangerous man.
* Uncommon takes notes: "Get...more...dangerous."
<JSH357> Dave Chappelle: Saint or Satan?
<Authortim> A little from column A, a little from column B
<JSH357> Tim, if you could nail any OHR community member: who would it be?
<Authortim> Uh
<JSH357> you have great options... CCS, Jjkaybomb, Princess Lana
<Authortim> Can I pass on that one
<JSH357> I guess
<Uncommon> Especially since Princess Lana's A GUY.
<JSH357> Tim, you basically vanished from the community after the collapse of Zant
<JSH357> you were there for a while, sure
<JSH357> but never as talkative
<JSH357> Was the community more interesting then or now?
<Gizmog> HEll!
<Gizmog> You can't let him pass on that question!
<Gizmog> I demand someone make him answer that
<Gizmog> I'll even answer
<JSH357> What? I guess not.
<Gizmog> If I had to nail one of 'em
<Gizmog> It'd be Lucier
<JSH357> Tim, just pick Lucier
<Authortim> Ok then I choose...
<Authortim> Shadowiii
<Authortim> What a hunk
<Authortim> rawr
<JSH357> BARF!
<Gizmog> No man
<Gizmog> Pick someone serious <Gizmog> You can't bone ShadowIII
<Gizmog> He's gay
<Authortim> Ok and as for the other question
<Authortim> Ok fine
<Authortim> Than how about
<Authortim> RMZ
<Authortim> hubba hubba am I right
<Uncommon> Ew.
<JSH357> ew
<Gizmog> Ew.
<JSH357> new question
<JSH357> What do you think of cells reproducing through mitosis? Personally, I think that in THE BIBLE is says that if GOD wanted cells to reproduce, he would have given them the ability to do it!
<Authortim> All of those goddamn Cells are going to spend an eternity in the fiery pits of hell
<JSH357> good, good
<JSH357> White power!
<Gizmog> Down with the niggers!
<JSH357> So, this is it.
<Uncommon> Question, does the famous NES-controller belt buckle give you super powers and/or incredible inspiration to be awesome?
<JSH357> The question that's been burning us
<JSH357> oh wait, after this one
<Authortim> If by awesome you mean more susceptable to girls putting their hands on my crotch then yes
<Authortim> Very Awesome indeed
<JSH357> sounds awesome to me!
<Gizmog> Oh god
* Gizmog duct tapes an NES Controller to his penis right this second
<JSH357> Well, let's move on
<JSH357> Tim, it's time. Drop the pants and measure up!
<Gizmog> I wonder
<Gizmog> If he's got like a little paper bag
<JSH357> You can start from the bone if you want
<Gizmog> That he puts over the tip of his didey
<Authortim> Ok, 6'3"
<JSH357> Hell, I usually start from my neck and wrap around
<Authortim> Though I don't know why I had to drop my pants to do that
<JSH357> whoah
<JSH357> not quite as impressive as Giz
<JSH357> but you're close
<JSH357> That's all the questions I have, really
<JSH357> Giz, Unc, take it away
<Uncommon> Any words of wisdom for the kids before we end this?
<Authortim> Uh, don't do anything I wouldn't do
<Uncommon> Then, by the power vested in me by the state of Confusion, I now pronounce you man and wife.
<Uncommon> You may kiss the bride.
<JSH357> KISS saves Santa
<Gizmog> I'm out of questions, but our sponsors need to say something once the questions are done <JSH357> Bring 'em on <Gizmog> First, a Public Service announcement: <Gizmog> To all you minors considering underage sex, remember what Gandalf the Grey always says:
<Gizmog> Keep it secret, keep it safe.
<JSH357> Before you hump
<JSH357> Cover your stump
<Gizmog> A message from the local Wizard's Against Teenage Pregnancy
<Gizmog> Anyway, I suppose that's a wrap.
<Gizmog> Any final words of wisdom, anyone?
<Uncommon> Don't jump, life is beautiful!
<JSH357> Yeah. Team America sucks.
<JSH357> But it has the best theme song ever
<JSH357> America! FUCK YEAH!
<JSH357> That's all
<Uncommon> Yeah, I'm done.
<Gizmog> Me too.
<Gizmog> Was it good for you, dahlinks?
Current News
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Authortim, interviewed by Gizmog1


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