Them's Fightin'
Words |
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The title screen really says it all. Whatever things you expect from looking at that screen are probably right. There really is no good reason to play this game.
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Graphics |
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Intentionally bad (at least I hope so, if this was genuine effort then that's just sad). Walkabouts always face only one way, and they look really flat and crappy. They probably each have three or four colors. Battle graphics are just as bad, but bigger. Maptiles are also terrible. There was one part with ripped graphics. Those were good, but poorly imported.
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Storyline |
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At first you appear out of nowhere, but then you begin a quest to find the game-designer cause the game sucks so much. Yeah, I know, it's a rip-off of Mr. Triangle. The dialogue is stupid and because of the weird font and transparent text-boxes, it can be kind of hard to read at times. I assume that it was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. Not one moment.
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Gameplay |
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You walk around. Sometimes you fight NPCs. Thankfully there were no random encounters to waste your time.
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Battle |
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The best part of the battles is that you can run away from any of them. There's no need to subject yourself to them. There are no spells and no items. The battles are boring and irrelevent, so you might as well skip them.
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Map Design |
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Horrible. The maps themselves are basically linear (and very short). You teleport between maps seemingly randomly, and a couple times I accidentally stepped back which teleported me back to the beginning. I couldn't get back to where I was cause you need a one-time NPC to get there. This was extremely annoying.
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Balance |
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The battles are easy enough that you don't have to worry about healing items or spells (there aren't any of either), but they take long enough that they are annoying. Also you gain several levels after each battle. Don't bother with them.
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Music |
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Screeching noise. That's basically it. In fact, to call the sound in the game music is to insult every musician and composer who ever lived or will ever live. I would advise you to turn off the sound, but I feel I should instead advise you not to play this game at all.
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Enjoyment |
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No. It was terrible. I somewhat enjoyed insulting it in this review, but it came at a horrible price.
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Final Blows |
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This is a bad game. Don't play it. Don't download it. Not a single one of the categories deserved even a 1.0. Or a 0.0 for that matter. We'd need large negative numbers to calculate the score properly.
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