| Them's Fightin'
Words |
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I'll never forget the day this game first came about. There I was, pepsi in hand, logging onto the internet for my daily porno e-mail and spammer fix. Back then, great games didn't come along that often. Hell, we were lucky if a new one came out every three months!
It was raining outside and I had nothing to do, and that's when I saw this game up on Operation: OHR. Don't Push the Button.
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| Graphics |
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My first impression of the game was "nothing special." When the title screen loaded, all I saw was the red button. As I often do, I spent a half minute examining the title screen; looking for some kind of depth. That's when I noticed the irresistibility of the button...
It was red, round, and shiny. I felt like a child in a candy store just discovering the magic of a five-dollar hooker. I gazed into that button and felt a warm feeling, like a woman's embrace. I knew that I had to do it. I had to push that button.
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| Storyline |
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It's a perfect concept, really. Bribery. Blackmail. Deceit. All of these factors are used in an attempt to sway you into giving it all up. Can you resist the temptation? It isn't easy, my friends. Several times throughout the course of the game, I was extremely tempted to do it, and all because of that clever man behind the curtains.
Just try the game. You'll see what I'm talking about.
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| Gameplay |
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This game was tough. Difficult to master, and nearly impossible to win. My willpower can only be tested to a certain degree, then I am forced to give up. Perhaps you can do better than I, my reader, but alas; it was simply too much. I regret that I was never able to finish this game.
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Battle |
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It's a battle, all right. For over an hour I stared at that shiny, tempting button; all the while listening to that ever-endearing soundtrack and the words of the omniscient supervisor. The temptation is great, and every second of the battle will be spent in a vained attempt to win. Just try.
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Map Design |
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This game's solitary map is perfect. The button, alluring as it alrady was, is amplified by its position: right in the middle of the screen. You will NOT be able to resist its aphroditic curiosity. Everything in this game works so well at accomplishing the goal that it's amazing.
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Balance |
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Way too hard, but so is Trailblazers. Trust me. If I can't do it, nobody can. Good luck.
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| Music |
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Where to begin? This game's soundtrack is absolutely perfect. If you play without music, you are missing out on a magnanimous orchestral arrangement, unmatched since the original Rocky's soundtrack. Every glorious note drives you closer and closer to giving in...
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| Enjoyment |
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Well, this isn't really the type of game that you 'enjoy,' so to say; but if you love a good challenge, you will want to finish it for sure. I immensly enjoyed the challenege, despite my eventual loss.
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| Final Blows |
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Play it. Live it. Love it. This game is better than six boxes of Mr. T cereal. (But not seven)
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OMFG DENIED |
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Final Scores
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Graphics: 9.5/10.0 |
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Perfection. There's nothing more tempting in the world than a shiny, red button.
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Storyline: 8/10.0
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It's a long, epic struggle. Predictable, but good enough. |
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Gameplay: 7.5/10.0 |
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Never has a game kept me in such a long sitting. It will become your life, but you will be disappointed when you fail.
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Music: 9.5/10.0
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Amazing. It fits the theme prefectly and is so well-arranged that my FACE imploded. |
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Enjoyment: 9/10.0
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Oh yes. |
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Overall Grade:
A |
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| Final Thoughts |
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Can YOU not push the button? |
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