Them's Fightin'
Words |
|
|
This game is an example of what happens when someone tries to make a comedy without first understanding how humor works. Everything that can go wrong in comedy goes wrong in this game; It directly steals lines from something else, but doesn't do so in a satirical fashion. It just steals, screws up the spelling, and pukes it onto the screen. It uses needlessly bad graphics (see the next section for an explanation on this). It uses profanity on a level slightly less sophisticated than the humor of a six year old. This is obviously an intentionally bad game, but it exists for no reason. It doesn't satirize anything successfully. It wasn't made for a terrible game contest. It won't shock anyone. It won't be memorable in any way.
|
Graphics |
|
|
It's pretty blatant that the graphics are intentionally bad, from the almost exclusively green palette to the terribly drawn sprites. There are times when bad graphics serve a purpose; in Walthrus, I used bad graphics to satirize the graphics of Walthros, as a way of poking fun at people who said its graphics couldn't get any worse. In Final Fantasy XXX, bad graphics are used to injure the player's eyes. In Corndogs... there is no purpose. At first I thought the graphics might have been made in parody of the color scheme of old Game Boy games, but this doesn't make any sense at all. The game is simply ugly for the sake of being ugly.
|
|
Storyline |
|
|
There is no story to be found at all. This wouldn't really matter in a comedy that is actually funny, but there's no humor in this game at all. Stealing text from another game and doing nothing with it isn't funny. Being stupid without any actual intention, parody, or jokes is a waste of time.
|
|
Gameplay |
|
|
There's nothing here but a small map and a small number of battles that are won by holding the spacebar.
|
|
|
Battle |
|
|
There are a few non-random battles (thank God, as having random ones would have made this abomination even worse), but all you can do is attack and be attacked. The hero has a secondary spell list, but no spells. The hero and enemy speeds are all set far too low, and every battle is a pointless chore. After the first level-up, you're pretty much unstoppable. The only way to recover health is to level up, with the exception of an item you get after defeating the "final boss" (making it useless). If you're going to make a joke game with useless battles, at least make them quick, or add something even the tiniest bit funny to them.
|
|
|
Map Design |
|
|
I feel that saying there was any thought put into these maps would be an insult to the word "thought."
|
|
|
Balance |
|
|
If you hold spacebar from the start of the game until the end, you're not going to run out of HP.
|
|
Music |
|
|
This computer can't hear OHR music.
|
|
Enjoyment |
|
|
I enjoyed tearing into this game, but got no enjoyment out of playing it. My advice is that if someone gets the urge to be stupid entirely for the sake of being stupid, go into the streets and smash random things with a hammer. This, the arrest, and the trial will at least be amusing to outsiders.
|
|
Final Blows |
|
|
From the fact that an asterisk was attached to the title to keep the game at the top of the gamelist, to the complete failure at producing comedy, this is without a doubt the worst game on Castle Paradox, and that's saying a lot.
|

This is not humor. |
Final Scores
|
Graphics: 1/10.0 |
lol it is green
|
Storyline: 1/10.0
|
lol i said fuck |
Gameplay: 1/10.0 |
lol spacebar
|
Music: 1/10.0
|
N/A |
Enjoyment: 1/10.0
|
lol i kill braincells |
Overall Grade:
F- |
|
Final Thoughts |
|
|
Wasp22, you are not funny. |
|
|