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Castle Paradox
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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 Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2004 5:24 pm Post subject: My Game Idea |
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Silver Castle I
You play a young warrior who arrives at Silver Castle five days before the battle tournament starts, during that time you can train in the castles simulation rooms, visit the market to buy items, equipment for battle and also buy food and drink, make friends with other people entering the tournament, form tag-teams, search for SC tokens that are hidden in the castle or relax back at your room reading a book.
But a mysterious character, that has some connection to the hero, enters the tournament and from then on strange things start to happen.
I won't go into to much detail as it will spoil the plot but tell me do you like my idea?
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Stanislaw
Wanderer
Joined: 12 Nov 2003
Posts: 13
Location: Unstable
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| Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2004 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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Rather than describing the actual story of the game, you're telling us what the game features instead, or at the very least what the game features in the intro.
I will need more backgrounds to the story before I can give a conclusive judgement on the story. For example, when I read your description of the story, some of the following questions came to mind:
What is the young warrior's name?
What exactly is the 'Silver Castle'? Where is it located?
What world setting is this game based in?
Why is there a battle tournament? Is it because it is an annual event? If so then why was the tournament formed?
Also, the 'mysterious character that has some connection to the hero enters the tournament and from then on strange things to happen' part sounds... cliche and undescriptive. From what I see so far anyway.
Keep at it. It needs work.
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2004 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | What is the young warrior's name?
What exactly is the 'Silver Castle'? Where is it located?
What world setting is this game based in?
Why is there a battle tournament? Is it because it is an annual event? If so then why was the tournament formed?
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1.The young warriors name is 'Silas' but I will probably allow name changing.
2.'Silver Castle' is located on an island just off the mainland and it is only accessible by the 'Silver Cruse Ship'. It is a large city inside a castle where the Battle Tournament is held.
3.The world is split into three different civilisation that do not make contact with each other except for when the battle tournament is held, there is the tech civilisation that has a lot of violence and corruption, the Magi civilisation that is peaceful and wise and the ancient civilisation that is said to be the original inhabitants of 'the world' (I haven't thought of a name for the world yet)
4.The Battle Tournament was formed by four people, a Tech, a Magi, a Ancient and a fourth unknown person, it was formed in an attempt to bring the civilisations together and is held every two years.
| Quote: | | Also, the 'mysterious character that has some connection to the hero enters the tournament and from then on strange things to happen' part sounds... cliche and undescriptive. |
A mysterious character that has some connection to the heroes childhood (the hero isn't actually sure what connection he has with this character until near the end) enters the tournament and from then on strange things happen (to the hero, dreams, flashbacks and other stuff that I won't say as it will spoil the plot)
Is that better?
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Stanislaw
Wanderer
Joined: 12 Nov 2003
Posts: 13
Location: Unstable
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| Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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Better.
| Quote: | | 1.The young warriors name is 'Silas' but I will probably allow name changing. |
I have a gut feeling that the name character's name is somewhat based on the word "Silver". Am I right?
| Quote: | 2.'Silver Castle' is located on an island just off the mainland and it is only accessible by the 'Silver Cruse Ship'. It is a large city inside a castle where the Battle Tournament is held.
3.The world is split into three different civilisation that do not make contact with each other except for when the battle tournament is held, there is the tech civilisation that has a lot of violence and corruption, the Magi civilisation that is peaceful and wise and the ancient civilisation that is said to be the original inhabitants of 'the world' (I haven't thought of a name for the world yet) |
If I understand correctly if the game's world setting is split into three different civilizations, then that would mean that there is most likely more than one continent or at the very least some sort of other natural barriers preventing from people crossing over to one realm over another. Therefore, exactly whose "mainland" are you talking about when you say that? The main character’s “mainland”? If the three civilizations converge on this one island it would make sense that the island is located in the midpoint of all three civilizations, not just off the “mainland” you’re referring to.
| Quote: | | 4.The Battle Tournament was formed by four people, a Tech, a Magi, a Ancient and a fourth unknown person, it was formed in an attempt to bring the civilisations together and is held every two years. |
The idea of three separate civilizations is good, but if they could converge on the island why don’t they actually try to pursue a more active role in establishing relationships with each other? And if they could converge on this island and if the island is the midpoint of all thee civilizations, that would mean that it is possible to travel to one realm to another… or is this tournament a relatively new concept for them?
| Quote: | | A mysterious character that has some connection to the heroes childhood (the hero isn't actually sure what connection he has with this character until near the end) enters the tournament and from then on strange things happen (to the hero, dreams, flashbacks and other stuff that I won't say as it will spoil the plot) |
Not much I can say on this because you try not to spoil the plot. I suppose this mysterious character of yours plays a significant role in the story, then shouldn’t that character at the very least participate a more active role in the tournament? Besides, if he is participating in the tournament, that means that people will get too see him fight and stuff. Not so mysterious when that happens… unless of course he is uber powerful and uses a fake name, but that sounds cheesy and has been done before a lot of times.
May I suggest the mysterious character play a more administrative role in the tournament? Tournaments aren’t just run by warriors alone… there has to be managers too.
Just a thought.
If I sound picky on all of this, do understand that I just hate plot holes. Some of the games on here are just too full of them it drives me insane…
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2004 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I have a gut feeling that the name character's name is somewhat based on the word "Silver". Am I right? |
I didn't actually intend the characters name to have anything to do with 'Silver Castle'.
| Quote: | | If I understand correctly if the game's world setting is split into three different civilizations, then that would mean that there is most likely more than one continent or at the very least some sort of other natural barriers preventing from people crossing over to one realm over another. Therefore, exactly whose "mainland" are you talking about when you say that? The main character’s “mainland”? If the three civilizations converge on this one island it would make sense that the island is located in the midpoint of all three civilizations, not just off the “mainland” you’re referring to. |
Yes that is correct, the world consists of two main continents, two smaller continents and many scattered islands the three civilisations each have there own main continent but they are also located in different continents in smaller groups. The 'mainland' refers to the coast of the ancients main continent.
| Quote: | The idea of three separate civilizations is good, but if they could converge on the island why don’t they actually try to pursue a more active role in establishing relationships with each other? And if they could converge on this island and if the island is the midpoint of all thee civilizations, that would mean that it is possible to travel to one realm to another… or is this tournament a relatively new concept for them?
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Even though the three civilisastions converge on the island they don't befriend anyone from other civilisations and most of them do not wish to establish any relationship with each other, the main reason they compete in the tournament is so that they do not appear the weaker civilisation and to win the silver trophy. There are no realms, just continents, all the competitors must pass through the ancients city to get to 'Silver Castle'. This is the third tournament that has been held.
| Quote: | Not much I can say on this because you try not to spoil the plot. I suppose this mysterious character of yours plays a significant role in the story, then shouldn’t that character at the very least participate a more active role in the tournament? Besides, if he is participating in the tournament, that means that people will get too see him fight and stuff. Not so mysterious when that happens… unless of course he is uber powerful and uses a fake name, but that sounds cheesy and has been done before a lot of times.
May I suggest the mysterious character play a more administrative role in the tournament? Tournaments aren’t just run by warriors alone… there has to be managers too.
Just a thought.
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Well the character uses his real name but he is much stronger than the average warrior entering the tournament, he is mysterious in the way that he does not say much and no one is sure where he came from. This character must play a warrior but there will be managers for the leading fighters in the finals, but thanks for your suggestion.
| Quote: | | If I sound picky on all of this, do understand that I just hate plot holes. Some of the games on here are just too full of them it drives me insane… |
Its okay you being picky is good, it has helped me to improve my game and hopefully my game won't be one of them ones with plot holes.
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Battleblaze
Warrior Thread Monk
Joined: 19 Dec 2003
Posts: 782
Location: IndY OHR
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| Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 9:31 pm Post subject: well |
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I like it but lemme see if I got this straight
You are this girl and its a few days before battle tornement and you spend your time preparing by getting people on your team buyin weapons etc.?
I like the story but all the qoutes hurt my head
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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I never mentioned wether the character is male or female, and the character is not a girl it is a boy.
| Quote: | and its a few days before battle tornement and you spend your time preparing by getting people on your team buyin weapons etc.?
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That is only the begining of the game, once the battle tournament starts there is a lot more story.
| Quote: | | all the qoutes hurt my head |
quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote quote
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Cmon isn't there anyone else that can comment on my story?
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Eggie
Joined: 12 May 2003
Posts: 904
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| Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 7:10 am Post subject: |
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[quote="Legacy within Time"]
I will need more backgrounds to the story before I can give a conclusive judgement on the story. For example, when I read your description of the story, some of the following questions came to mind:
What is the young warrior's name?
What exactly is the 'Silver Castle'? Where is it located?
What world setting is this game based in?
Why is there a battle tournament? Is it because it is an annual event? If so then why was the tournament formed?
[\quote]
It is a bad idea to put in minor details in a background story. The Background should concentrate on the core of the story.
Yeah, this sounds pretty cool to me. All the neat little features. I like tournament RPGs, which there are a few. If this is done well, then I'll probably really enjoy it. By the looks of it, this game has a little simulation in it, or I am crazy. |
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Iblis
Ghost Cat
Joined: 26 May 2003
Posts: 1233
Location: Your brain
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| Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 9:49 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | It is a bad idea to put in minor details in a background story. |
None of those things are minor details. A few of them are pretty important details (main character's name, for example).
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2004 1:17 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | By the looks of it, this game has a little simulation in it, or I am crazy. |
This is probably a stupid question but what do you mean by simulation?
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Quinn
Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 46
Location: Castle Paradox
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| Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2004 2:54 am Post subject: |
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Well im nearly finished my plot so soon im gona type it up and post it here all neat so maybe more people will read it and leave feedback.
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Game Progress:
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