Castle Paradox

Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

Yes, sadly I have made another story, but I am trying to get better. The title is obviously, "Get Furry or Die Tryin'", not really representing the whole story, but still a good title, in a funny way, ripping off 50 Cent's album name. Oh well. Fifty doesn't care.

On Mystic Fate, I was attacked when I added a little... adult material to the story, because it was a free post on CP. So, just to tell you now, I will put a rating for each chapter before posting the link to it. I guess I can have a rating system like Drug Scenes (Don't really know if there is going to be any) Sexual Talk (A little less descriptive then Sex Scenes), Swearing (Which I will bleep out some words), Violence (the talk about gore, or agressive action), and Sex Scenes. If you choose to go to the link of the chapter, that's your choice, but I am not saying that this story will be totally evil.

Since I am posting the story, maybe I'll give you a little background, like the back of a novel. Well, ahem:

It's about a Canadian girl, who is a huge military smart girl. It relates to Mystic Fate by the whole, human becoming a furry (Monstera) thing. It's a lot different because it's really modern, and also kind of like a teen novel. She loves, she loathes, and she goes off to save the planet (eventually.)

That's the core of the story. Let's see what happens...

So get ready, because thiz shiz iz about to get heavy...

Chapter I: The Dirty Arena
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c01.txt (Swearing) 8+
Chapter II: Get Furry
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c02.txt (Drugs, Swearing) 8+
Chapter III: It's a Beautiful Day
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c03.txt (Sex Themes, Swearing, Violence) 8+
Chapter IV: Motherf*cking Mothership
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c04.txt (Sex Themes, Swearing) 8+

I pray that you'll at least enjoy this a little.

DemocraticAnarchist · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:44 pm Post subject:

Umm, yeah. The stories are littered with irrlevant references to (c)rap music, and the swearing is unnessecary. It ruined my reading of the story. And for god sake dont censor it. Swear or dont, make your mind up. The actual story itself was moderately ok, but you tried too hard to try and show how mature you were by using lots of naughty words and *looks side to side* SEX references! Unnessecary.
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Uncommon · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 7:35 pm Post subject:

"Mature" themes are not a sign of maturity. They are, in fact, usually the opposite.

Hunter Green · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 8:23 pm Post subject:

That's not fair.

Mature themes can be a sign of maturity, it just takes a person who has developed a lot of skill and maturity as a writer to pull them off correctly.
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Uncommon · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 9:30 pm Post subject:

Note that I said "usually", and no, use of "mature" themes isn't really a sign of maturity. Proper use (or prudence to not crutch yourself, as it is often a crutch to people that do use it) can be a result of maturity, but I wouldn't say that use of "mature" themes is a very proper gauge of maturity.

Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

I didn't put the mature content to develop a mature status. I put it in to make it drift a little more closely to reality, because lets face it, a mature story can have immature characters that tend to swear commonly.

And Demo, rap music is not crap. It tops the charts more than any metal group ever can. Then again, if any group can show talent, then it is not crap. I put in her obsession for rap because I am trying to relate this story to a girl's simple teen life.

junahu · Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2004 5:15 am Post subject:

Don't let emmotional attatchments influence what you write. It's easy to write a stories with rap in if you like rap but then the stories will become too similar. And that's rarely good...

:flamedevil:
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Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

Update, to Chapter 5!

Chapter V: Journeys of the Wilderness
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c05.txt (Swearing, Violence)

I would like to comment that putting mature stuff in a story does not make it mature, but it won't make it immature.

I would also like to say that the characters in this story are based on people I know. The characteristics of the people may be altered to reality, but you probably won't know that. I am just saying if their personality seems a little... unreal... don't sweat it. It's a big deal, for sure, but I am trying...

May I also say that this story, in the future, is going to tackle some very serious matters, so try to take them seriously, no matter how funny they seem to my writing.

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 7:19 pm Post subject:

OMG! Eggie's story will save TEH WORLD! Razz

Keep trying. It will, if nothing else, make you a better writer. Oh, and a tip. Don't tell people what they don't know... That's silly...
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Liquidmentality · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:37 am Post subject:

Pfft Canadian military... Are we in an alternate reality or what?!
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Me · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2004 3:51 pm Post subject:

Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

Me, it is so like you to fret over a simple thing like censorship.
It doesn't matter really.

Most importantly, I'll put my maturity in where it is needed, but you can't really say it is bad if I put it in at expected scenes.

Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

Okay, I've uploaded another fine chapter of Get Furry or Die Tryin'. It's actually the shortest chapter yet. Oh well, it's all good with my story. Yet alone, I am very happy to see people talk about it.

Chapter VI: Saving Akagi's Toxic Booty (Violence, Swearing) 8+
http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/eggie/c06.txt

There ya go... There is little matur content, but I still bleep out the f-word and the s-word. If you have a problem with that then cry me a river.

Me · Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2004 8:30 pm Post subject:

The censorship is actually a fairly major issue, as I see it. Swearing is meant for only one reason: shock. People nowadays swear pretty much anytime, but really, if you think about it, a curse is used in extreme situations to draw attention to the state of the situation. In writing, censoring a swear word lessens this shock and thus the attention drawn to the reason for the swearing, and thus the entire work is weakened.
Swearing generally looks bad in writing, anyway. In most situations, it seems totally out of place. Which brings me to my next point: your dialogue in general. You are going about it all wrong: you try to write dialogue that real people might say in real life. Contrary to what one may think, this almost never works in writing and stories. If you read any major work of literature, you will see this -
no one in literature speaks like a real person.
Also, the same past-present tense errors are popping up here. I realize that some of them are meant as the main character's internal monologue, but what it really reads like is a bunch of tense errors.
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Eggie · Joined: 12 May 2003 Posts: 904

Like I said before, cry me a river.

Even if I do make mistakes with the past-presence tense stuff, the main points in the story are pretty visible...

...

...

...

Fine! I'll pay more close attention to the tense sh*t.