Castle Paradox

AkariNight · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 3:36 am Post subject: storythread: Part deux

As the last part of the saga was about to pear away through the oblique obituary, there looked to be no hope at all… The end credits faded to leave such darkness that there could only be one answer to all of the madness, the remorse was immense… The epic adventure had not ended, no… It had only just began to unfold…

(The scene begins in a flash of bright light waking our strange heroes… The surroundings are unknown: a futuristic metric forest submerged by gelatinous swamp like mountains, the temperature and humidity fluctuates as often as people get kicked by CN…)

[Jabbercat]
Where are we? I thought I was supposed be re-incarnated as an unstable sybaritic cyber ant… not an undeveloped Cyclops hunchback, and just where the hell are my walking apparatus! I deserve a monkey butler for this…

[Junahu]
We must find the sacred 'underwater blunder buffler' it is the only chance we have to defeat the arch mage and restore Jabbercat to his original state… The gargantuan cave of unfathomable mystery must be around here! Junahu reaches towards his head …Why do I have horns now!?

They both press onward, unaware that there friends have strangely dispensed into the air, spirited away to a far planet a trillion bazillion light-beers only to return when they have become alcoholics and murderers…

junahu · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 4:36 am Post subject:

...The thick, anti-imperial forest gives way to a clearing of wild cats. Tipwhip huddles his furry kitten body amongst his new siblings. His reincarnation has not reached the stage where he could achieve conscious thought, and so he will remain there, dormant, for a 100 years, until he would be reawakened by the god of fire...

The quest for the obscure and esoteric enchanted item lasted many years. Joining Junhu and Jabbercat on this epic passage of incomprehensible proportions, were; Leroy Leo, an eccentric and brash adventurer, and Tripitaka, a buddhist preist, along with her escort of a stone monkey, a fish and an amorous pig. They first traveled to the town of escargot, on an errand from a random npc character...
_________________

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 6:29 am Post subject:

...The ecorts told the three of a place where they could get the NPC character a face. Junahu had to use the combined powers of his friends and himself to reach the unseen place high atop of a puff of cloud. This was quite difficult because the cloud was impossible to interpret from the others.
But one day, Leroy noticed something strange in one of them and thrust Jabbercat's head in the direction of the obscurity. Junahu's face lit up in delight as he too noticed the flashes of light as though they were lighting in a single cloud. The sky was only slightly overcast and the vast open areas surrounding this single cloud were very calm. This was unusual indeed. Surely the thing they seeked was within, or a clue to something else of greater value at LEAST!

[aside] Oh no. Not another one of these threads. Hunter and Shadow beware. Let the little ones have their fun. Forewarning: Jun, you better not decide to make this into a game in the future until after you do the last one as practice at least.
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

AkariNight · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 9:04 am Post subject: ...

...only it wasn't at all, the trio turned to face the sun and found out they had been standing right next to the cloud, which incoherently was not a cloud in the first place, no it was really the basis of the secret 'ness ness-nuss'... They all decided they better enter deeper into the once forrbidden realm of insanity to truly discover there inner selves... Tip whip evolved into psyfrog and said no frikkin way lets just find the stupid.. thing that i can't remember... what... the name of it is! So they ventured forward... Jabbercat noticed the cloud-like air began to clear, he could see a faint vision of fitness witness! it could only have been 'AkariNight'... He offered he would give them one wish and it would be fullfilled only if they let him join thier fellowship, they all huddled up and decided they would agree to his proposition...

jabbercat · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 9:37 am Post subject:

The Jabbercat was rather affronted at being in this position so he proceded to make his wish,'I wish that you would die. Full stop. End. Finite. Zipo . Nada, ect.' shaking with laughter at his own evilness. He summond up his army and called for his +13 Setu Wordtape dragon. He quickly slaughtered his once friends and proceedded to take over the world. He then created a dungeon to hold his most tresured item, and filled it with monsters to guard it (Que next game here). THe once dead friends' souls were restless, with Jabbercat still alive...

AkariNight · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 9:50 am Post subject:

...Jabbercat woke up! he struggled aimlessly in pain... with the dream-mo device-matic attached to his head (he realised it was all a dream)... his once friends saw how twisted his mind was, junahu plunged a metal zepplin into his heart... and offered the woman in the supermarket a discount on out of date carrots... She, now in extreme shock said...

jabbercat · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 11:58 am Post subject:

'You idiot! You can't kill him, he is dead!', said she. Jabbercat then turned his dream into a reality, finding that being dead, and invincible was very useful...

(just trying to get a setting here folks,)

AkariNight · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:00 pm Post subject:

unfortunately for Jabbercat, anything negative he says or does ultimately transmodriffied one member of his family into cheese strings, thus meaning jabbercat has to resort in becoming friendly and gay...

[Jabbercat]
Gosh! i'm so in debt to my friends i really believe that when i truly die for the tenth time this week... someone will be in space waiting to give me utimate pleasure... Then he thought killing my friends with an elite troop of obotic apes would be alot more fun...

Jabbercat recieves a call...

[Jabbercat]
OHH GOD NOT MY DAD!!!

...The others then begin to beat the living crack out of jabbercat...

[Leroy_Leo]
"IF YOU WON'T [THUD!] DIE, THEN [INJURY!] WE'LL PAIN YOURSELF [BLEED!] !!!"

jabbercat · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 1:17 pm Post subject:

This has just got plain ridiculous. Lock this if you will please kind sirs.

Copyright info:
Jabbercat, jabbercat and/or any likenesses are protected under copyright law .est. 1999-2004, and are registered trade marks of JabberCorp Inc. 1999-2004. Jabbercorp and/or any likenesses are protected under copyright law .est. 1999-2004, and are registered trade marks of JabberCorp Inc. 1999-2004.

Minnek · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 3:18 pm Post subject:

I believe that this is a case of parody, hence not falling prey to copyright infringement. Hence you probably didn't need to throw out all that copyright information, nor ask for this thread to be closed simply because they decided to pick on you in particular. They've picked on several people before, so big deal. Let them continue if they'd like, and just ignore it. Same goes to everyone else - no need to lock the thread unless it starts crossing the lines of prejudice or plain vulgarity. Just ignore it if you don't like it... I've managed to keep my head clear of the abomination up til this point.

"Anyway, onward gents - carry out whatever mindless quest you've set out to accomplish," the musty sage rambled out from behind his mountains of books.
_________________
* SDHawk has joined #Minnek
SDHawk> AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGH
* SDHawk has left #Minnek (Leaving)

jabbercat · Posted: Tue May 11, 2004 11:56 pm Post subject:

But..but..It was dead! IT WAS DEAD!

ahem, I really needed to put that copyright somewhere and that seemed like a fairly good place, bleh for the randomness. But it does seem that the vulgarness was inplace somewhat whence they we're referening to the apes and ect.

AkariNight · Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 1:50 am Post subject:

k Mother...

[Deformed bear]

Do you think you could assist us?

[Sage]-Horrified

Well... (turns around and looks at the duo) holy *^%& i'm sure that is not possible looking at the state of those deformed arms...

[Organic Mushroom]

...

[Deformed bear]

All we need is you to lead us the way to 'The turmoil pit of Trodgedoor' our queen has been taken by an evil being, The king mentioned you and i suspect you have all the answers

The Sage replied...

junahu · Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 4:05 am Post subject:

[sage]

you first need to find 6 other sages, each of a different pretty colour. Here have a free medallion.

The bear recieved the light medallion but was so busy mashing the A button to get out of this stupid cutscene that he dropped it. He was then briefed of the exact locations of 5 of the sages, in a form of speaking that was hardly cryptic in the least. The bear then read a walkthrough guide so he could find out how the heck he could enter the forest temple. It then dawned on him that dante's ghost had a spring loaded hookshot required for this endeavor. The race was fierce but the bear used the roll attack repeatedly under the allusion that it would make him go faster and so lost spectaculary to the ghost. In the aggravation of his humiliating defeat, the bear started a new game file and called his character something rude so that he could derive great pleasure in seeing the npcs say his name. So again he started on a quest to find the spiritual stones, and again he tried to stab mido when, for the 5th time, he forgot to equip his shield...
_________________

AkariNight · Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 4:45 am Post subject:

...he ran for what seemed like days on the Hyrulian fields, when at last he encountered a plant like creature which tediously hade other plant like creatures attached to it, which un-doubtably span around levitating to chase the bear all the way back to the frikkin decku tree of dumbness... The decku tree quickly swallowed our hero and told him he would be safe and that all he had to do is go in deeper and kill a massive spider with a name un-pronouncable... The bear got bored and threw all of his Deku seeds on the floor simultaneusly to try and re-enact world war II, with little success he moved on...

junahu · Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 4:22 am Post subject:

..To what seemed to be a degeneration of the thread into a parody of zelda. Having reached this location, the bear found the master sword in the forest, temple of time and hyrule castle symultaneously. This undoubtable led back to the cutscene that bored bear senseless in the first place. Much more button mashing was had and the bear contemplated suicide. After such trivial conversation with the sage of yellow, the bear saved his progress and held the z trigger down so that the menus would spin around him in a delightful manner. He assigned the ocarina of time to 'c right' even though he knew that he wasn't actually going to need it for several hours at least and began his journey to that village with lots of constanents in its name. Bear toyed with the idea of playing something else...
_________________