Castle Paradox

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Fri May 14, 2004 12:30 pm Post subject:

Like the real story for instance, which was...
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Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 3:13 am Post subject:

Undoubtably more farcical than the commercial game he was playing. Bear took the shield of Jabbrecorp, which was mentioned only once before and believed to have contained a killer pink squirrel, and equipped it. Illogically his defence stat decreased and his attack stat increased to insane levels that made all the random encounter battles into sudden death rounds. Luckily, bear was a pacifist and did not fight anyone whatsoever on his quest to the pit of turmoil, which turned out to be a health spa for damned souls
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junahu · Posted: Fri May 21, 2004 6:21 am Post subject:

Suddenly from within the mirky bowels of the forest.

AMBUSH!

Bear-------
What ho? My lord!! It's a double post!

Damned spa soul 1-------
And what's this? Egad! Thread revival!

Damned spa soul 1-------
Jumping julippers! Forum whoring too!

bear considered this connundrum as the damned souls ran screaming back into the deepest pits of hell. The trio of forum sins lunged at bear, who reacted swifty by banning their IPs. Thusly, and incoherently defeated, bear continued on his yet to be defined quest.
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Fri May 21, 2004 6:31 am Post subject:

To find the other colored mages, remember?

The Bear remembered something. He turned around and realized that he left his friends behind, so he got out of this dead end of the story. He met back with PSyFrog (TipWhips drunken form), Undead Jabbercat (now cooperating just to get the... I think the tin shards for himself), and Akari Knight (Only along because he was bored and lazy)

PSyFrog: "HIC! ON TO THE NEXT MAGE GUY THINGY! HIC!"

Akari Knight: "Psy, yer drunk... GIMME THE KEYS!" *Falls face down on the floor; his state of inebriation deeper than even psyFrog's*

JabberCat: "Agh! I am surrounded by idiots! WHERE IS TIPCO WHEN YOU NEED HIM! Wait... I hate him... Oh dear... Why am I wishing for him. I must be more desperate than I thought."

Coming to this realization, Jabbercat knew there was only one thing to do...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 3:56 am Post subject:

...he proceeded to jump up and down on one foot in order to actively mock PSyFrog's general reaction to seriously confusing moments.

Jabbercat--------
Needleneck! Needleneck! Needleneck!

Time then proceeded to freeze inexplicably in place so that everyone had a chance to calm down and get their bearings. During this 100 year period in suspended animation, bear determined that the second colourful sage was in a location located close to them.

Time then un-freezed and the mostly inebriated group headed off to the location that bear had located. This journey lasted a considerably long time given that they only had two miles to traverse. Part of the delay was that Jabbercat insisted that they stayed in each area they accessed until they had fought as many random encounter battles as they could survive. Another delay reared its head when the group discovered that they couldn't walk across coast-mountain tiles even though there was clearly a strip of traversable land there. This meant they had to battle their way through yet another cave filled with hostiles that were identical to the enemies outside the cave, only a different colour. They were almost at the other side of the cave, ready to exit, when Junahu appeared garbed in an attire that suggested that he had turned to the side of evil. They fought and Junahu won, but the group just loaded their save game and fought Junahu again. This time Junahu lost because the pseudo random attack selection thought it would be hilarious if Junahu kept poisoning bear, who was incapable of being poisoned. Bear, in triumph...
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Mon May 31, 2004 9:57 pm Post subject:

revived this thread before it was too far gone to revive.

the DarkBrown sage of smelly death could hear this and came rushing at the crew of unlikely travelers.

JabberCat: "Fun fight."

PsyFrog: "When can I turn back into a turtle-man?"

Leroy_Leo: "Maybe the stupid smelly brown thing has a cure..."

SmellyBrownMageOfDeath: "meh..."

That is when they found out that the sage was in fact TipCo.
They scurried in fear of his Omnipresence... And his BIG BOOKS... Oh the horror...

However, TipCo was not there to "dissapline" them. He was actually there to...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

Sparoku · Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 10:36 am Post subject:

This story is funny and entertaining.
Keep up the good work guys.
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"There will always be people who will tell you they hate what you made, or like what you made, and will tell you that what you did was wrong or right."
My Discord ID: SparDanger#0305

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 11:09 am Post subject:

Said Invisible Mage, who comes to watch battles and collect the corpses for IT'S shrine of inevitable power.

Then TipCo decided to go ahead and do what he was SENT to do...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

AkariNight · Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 11:43 am Post subject:

Read a passage of the most amazing draft RPG story ever:

The Prophecy of a Great War is becoming less of a myth than the modern technology of the 1360's predicted. The ancient Bastard Sword 'Aetho' could prove total annihilation or peace…

Two black solitary nights ago there was a conflict between the two friends Al-Gaddon and Erach-Ord. However, they are now bound to a fellowship that will surely be the saviour of a deed much more meaningful, with much more malignancy to be revealed than ever before, throughout the vast kingdom of Murlo.

The rage between district Eisai: City of incomprehensible fathom, and quaint Trodgeddor: town of ye olden storytellers began to escalate in the most absurd manner, leading to a climate of disquiet across the kingdom. The story goes that Al-Gaddon (local blagger from Trodgeddor) accumulated an enormous amount of carrots, coincidentally, a few minutes after Erach-Ord had been to market to trade thirty silver zenny for the same amount of carrots. Erach was not at all amused when he passed the alley where he discovered Al, encumbered by discomfort, groaning "my stomach" and tightly grasping an empty brown woven sac. Infuriated Erach grasped Al by his chin whiskers and hauled him across town, advancing to the Great Hall of Retribution. He reached the vicinity of the hall and near enough lunged Al into the enormous clapboard ingress, only to find that the gates were locked. A small damaged letter allayed Al's bedraggled body. It read, 'Great Hall closed, Population of Trodgeddor is attending urgent meeting within Eisai council concerning the crusade'.

A single force later diminished this petty argument. This force had only been foreseen by the most almighty of the kingdom and occurred within the small space of a twenty-minute deliberation. The district of Eisai was renowned for its excellent council. Although the main facts that began the war were unpredictably overlooked, such a battle could only have been abandoned due to the lack of physical strength our lesser hero affords. Plus 'ye olden storytellers' were fibbing out of there eyeballs trying to make out they did not begin such a farce. The two main structural impediments aside the two districts were planning war, they have been at argument from the very birth of remembrance. The district Eisai was always in favor of Capital Marron (closest to them) but unlike Eisai, Trodgeddor were looking forward to moving westwards nearer Capital Farrow. The two opposing ideas did undoubtedly cause a hell of a lot of solicitude…

The two districts were undeniably forced laterally by the capitals, which began preparation for battle…

Little do they know Erach and Al are the only local folk within a 100-mile radius and that when they find this out their burden to save the lives of thousands shall emerge…

Sneak-preview of the short book: yet to be named…

Everyone clapped at the yet unfinished and bearly understandable epilogue...
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"That child is sickening." -TMC

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2004 12:00 pm Post subject:

And TipCo was surprised that the barbarian "imbisils" that he had known for so long had liked anything he took particular interest in.
TipCo was pleased. For the first time in his entire 200 years he had been happy. Razz

Then, out of nowhere, TipWhip stupidly attacked him...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 4:58 am Post subject:

Having being transformed back into the lovable turtle with a ponytail from what seems like eons ago, TipWhip thought it appropriete to kill TipCo. This had no logical explanation of course as the sages are supposed to survive long enough for them to hand over their medallions for the quest to be successful. Before he could strike however, TipCo called upon the aid of the other tiptype knights who were inexplicably localised in that general area. TipTurp, TipTie and TipSmash jumped out and they all restrained TipWhip, except TipSmash who was understandably late. After tensions had calmed down, more plot was delivered to bear and his company in the form of another cutscene which bear had to endure...
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:22 pm Post subject:

A cutscene of Epic proportions! TipSmash finally arrived trudging along with the boulder he was cursed to carry until it breaks (which would cause his death). TipSmash had figured out how to use the boulder as a weapon without breaking it. He Hurled it to TipWhip and knocked his "block" off!
Then TipSmash used the Geomancy he got from a shrouded pedler to draw the immence boulder back to him. The boulder was unharmed and TipSmash sighed deeply.

TipWhip flew off into the horizon, which was followed by an inexplicaple twinkling.

TipWhip: "TipWhip has been blasted off agaaaaaaaaaain!"

TipCo: "Don't worry... He does stupid things and gets hurt for it all the time. He'll be back..."

The other TipType knights offered to replace him in the party. However, Jabbercat pointed out that there can only be a limit of four heros in a party, so the knights started a competition to see who was most worthy to take TipWhip's position...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 2:44 am Post subject:

The competition was... Janken! TipSmash, cursed with a rock, invariably chose paper while the rest chose scissors. TipSmash vanished into the reserve party. The trio of potential hero characters then all chose the following combination; paper, rock, rock, scissors, rock, paper, scissors. The probability of such an occurance was calculated to be 3:10,460,353,203 or 3,486,784,401 to 1. However, everyone knows that people always choose the same as the opponent in rock paper scissors because of the way minds work. The Janken contest waged far into the next day and there was still no victor. In the end they decided to just play monopoly instead. However, three hours in...
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LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:55 pm Post subject:

TipWhip limped back and saw that they were having fun without him. He who had took so long and went on a long insane adventure full of fishing breaks and debt to KimeriTup (the traveling merchant). And here they were PLAYING!

TipWhip asked nicely to join them.

[start here]
TipCo: "We are in the middle of a game... Come back in a week..."

TipWhip: "A week!?"

TipTie: "Yea! One time I had a game with TipTop that lasted for the whole summer..."

TipWhip: "It's summer?! JOY!"

TipTie: "I never said that, but yes it is..."

TipWhip: "Can I play then?"
[repeat]

The banal arguemnet lasted for a week and the game had ended. The victor was...
_________________
Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

junahu · Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 4:45 am Post subject:

no one! The other hero characters had left hours ago leaving the group of tumans with only one option, form their own hero party. But there were five of them and only four slots in the active party.

And thus the banality began again...
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