Castle Paradox

Marxy · **Owner of the demon stone** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 8

It's been a long while since I was even here...

Well here's an Idea that I might soon make a story out of...

Two people live their daily lives completely ignorant of it's crime rate. Both best friends. However, The protagonist is a very respected person. As for the other guy... The whole entire city's criminal scene wants him dead!

Characters(Current)
-Gordon Jackson: He's your average popular guy. Girls love him. Guys look up to him. His best friend, however, Isn't so lucky. His father was once a leader of a gang. However, He disbanded them and went straight as an auto mechanic.

Personality: Kind yet takes girls for granted because they come to him easy. Because He was born and raised in the Ghetto and lived among thugs, He too feels like he can identify with them

Attire:Wears a blue t-shirt with matching wave cap, Jeans and a pair of Nike sneakers

Skills: As mentioned he's real good with the ladies. He can even get them to strip. He is also good with weapons.

-Edwardo "Rocky" Gonzales: Gordon's best friend. Rocky has a semi-strong code of morals. Living in an middle class neighbourhood, He met Gordon at school. One day, He saw a girl getting raped. He kicked in and rescued her, But let the assailant live. Little did Rocky know, the assailant was a respected member of one of the city's gangs. Ever since, Triads, Syndacytes, and gangs have wanted his head.

Personality: Brave... alittle too brave for his own good. Rocky can't stand to see an injustice or crime go unpunished. He's always vigilant of criminals. As a result of spending his whole life studying martial arts, He's adopted these attitudes.

Attire: Wears an orange T-shirt with a red archer's target on it. In red words, it says "Do you want a piece of me?". Wears blue jeans and a red pair of sneakers somewhat like the ones in the 50's

Skills: Because of his training, He only uses his bare hands to fight

I plan to make two scenarios. One easy one told by Gordon. An extremely difficult one by Rocky only unlocked by playing Gordon's scenario

Junair Wiare · Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2004 10:50 am Post subject:

Seems... Okay. However, I sense a few problems in there:
1) It could be a little... Mature--of course, you could be aiming for that.
2) The characters need to be fleshed out. Let's hear about their idiosyncracies, appearance, skills, family life, etc. Characters aren't just vehicles to move the story, they should be the story.
3) What the crap do you mean by "happless" in your basic descriptor? You do realize that "hapless" means "bumbling" most of the time, don't you?
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Marxy · **Owner of the demon stone** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 8

Well, I developed the characters abit... I'll work on the story later...

drakeWild · Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:04 pm Post subject: Kewl

I've got a couple of questions

1. What would it prove to be able to get girls to strip?<<Cool Idea but why?>>
2. How are your main characters friends?? Popular and gang don't mix.
3.When Will it be done I WANT IT!!

Sounds good. I'll watch for it.

+---Drake---+

Marxy · **Owner of the demon stone** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 8

Gizmog1 · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 10:40 am Post subject:

Whatever you do, if you plan to bring us nudity: SHOW US THE NUDITY. Don't puss out, and don't let some of these nutjobs around here put you off. If you can do it well, do it, and let no man, moral, or religious standard stop you. Please be cautious with cursing. Too much makes it look foolish, too little and you don't express the right tone, and if you censor the cussing, you look like a retard. I can't quite comment just on what you've got so far, but it seems like it could be a good start. Good luck on it, and don't change a thing for anyone.

LeRoy_Leo · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 11:15 am Post subject:

Gizmog: Agreed. Freedom of speech and religion forever.

What you have here is an excellent base for characters. Seems like you have the essential character balance. Now you could play with the plot a little more and put these characters in those situations.

Randomness: I read somewhere that you have to immagine two characters in a dark room with no one else around them. Ask yourself how one's beliefs and habbits would effect the other. And how would they react to this based on their character.
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