Castle Paradox

[Valigarmander]

Holy crap, Lyhn! I thought you died or something!

[Lyhn Sohler]

No, just went on a little hiatus. Did everyone miss me?

[Pepsi Ranger]

Val (and all the other writers out there),

I don't know if you plan on publishing this or trying to publish this, but I thought I'd throw in some recommendations for you in case you're serious about this:

First off, the Writer's Market is your friend. It usually packs about 100 pages of helpful articles to get your feet in the right direction. I'd recommend picking up the last couple years' worth of volumes for the articles and the current one (2007 edition) for the market listings. Barnes & Noble has them in its reference section, though you'll have to scour Amazon.com for the older editions. Newer books tend to run between $30-$50 depending on whether you're getting the standard or the deluxe. Old volumes are usually discounted, sometimes as low as $10. It may sound like an expensive investment, but if you're serious, you could see your publication dreams come true (assuming you want to be published). There is also a large list of contests to participate in if you're feeling ambitious.

Secondly, pick up copies of your basic English books. I've found that in seventeen years of writing, my greatest weakness is accurately revealing my knowledge of the basics--like grammar and sentence structure. Why? Because I jumped right into the storytelling without grasping the basics of structure completely. I think you have this down well enough, but there are a few things I've noticed in your story that you probably want to consider changing: most notably your overwritten phrases. One of the basic fundamentals of good writing, besides knowing proper punctuation and sentence development, is knowing how and what to consolidate. Most professionals will tell you to omit needless words (for example: "he ran speedily" is a redundant way of saying "he ran;" likewise, "he sprinted" is a better way of saying "he ran," since it combines "ran" and "speedily" together).

The two books I recommend in this matter (and there may be more as I discover them) are The Elements of Style by Strunk & White and Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. The first is a small book that really defines strong writing skills, while the second is a narrative about punctuation (and a hilarious one at that).

If you want to publish your book, as in making it good enough to attract a literary agent, I'd recommend first reading up on the elements they look for. Noah Lukeman, a respected literary agent, has three books that can change your life as a writer. The first, a book called The First Five Pages, is an essential guide to fixing your novel (or any writing for that matter) so that it stays out of the rejection pile. Specifically, it targets, in chronological order, the 19 bull's eyes that can kill your chances at landing an agent. That thing I mentioned two paragraphs ago, about extra words, is #2 on that list of 19. The second book, called The Plot Thickens, is a writer's guide to shaping character and plot. In eight segments, it asks a series of questions that can help you get to know your characters and settings without having to pull them out of a hat. Not as necessary as the first book, but still one worth looking into. The third, a book called A Dash of Style, expands on The Elements of Style by giving you techniques on how to let your sentences come alive. I haven't read that one, yet, but I'm sure it's genius.

If you can't find any of these in the bookstore, I'm sure you can find them at Amazon.

These may or may not appeal to you--perhaps you'll find something of greater value in the reference section--but I'd still recommend looking into them if you're serious about your writing. If these are for your eyes only, then do what you want. But if you want to try getting them to the public without resorting to the painfully unfiltered print-on-demand press, then I'd suggest taking the chance on studying these basics.

Also, don't waste your money on the How-To books until you're able to craft a sentence masterfully, and likewise, a paragraph, without overdoing it. I ignored the basics for years, and now I'm discovering that half my stuff, as intricate as it might be, is overkill. And I tell you, it sucks to go back and redo everything. It's another year of my life spent rewriting the stuff I've been working on for years. Don't write yourself in that hole.

Other than that, keep up the good work.

And I don't know about that opening: ambiguous hooks like that aren't really hooks; they're just annoying. You might want to go right into the story. You might also want to use that opening as a frame for your larger piece, rather than using it as a piece of the story. Just a consideration.

You got talent, so keep working at bettering it.
_________________
Progress Report:

The Adventures of Powerstick Man: Extended Edition

Currently Updating: General sweep of the game world and dialogue boxes. Adding extended maps.

Tightfloss Maiden

Currently Updating: Chapter 2

[Valigarmander]

'Kay, I'm glad a lot of people seem to like my work. Now, I'm asking for someone who is willing to read everything I have so far.

I have seven chapters (well, seven in a few days), and if anyone has the spare time I'd really appreciate it if you could read through and tell me what you think. The story is not complete, but I still need criticism. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, but any and all help with my previous ones will be welcomed. If you notice any errors, any mistakes, any grammar issues, any continuity problems, any misspellings, anything that doesn't seem to work where it's placed, anything at all that could use some work, please tell me. I would offer people money to review what I have, but unfortunately I have none. So all I can offer is my respect. Cheers.

Click here to read the greatest tale in history.

[Valigarmander]

New chapter!

Go check it out, why don't you.

[Valigarmander]

New chapter! (That was fast.)

*realizes nobody cares*

Oh, poop.