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Critique my Music

 
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Meatballsub
Divine Bovine




Joined: 16 Jun 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Northwest Georgia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:13 am    Post subject: Critique my Music Reply with quote

Working on a couple of pieces for a game and was wondering what you guys think. They still need work, i'm sure, but you should be able to formulate a decent opinion from these samples:

The second piece is a blend of new music and part of the 1st piece.

http://thevintagegamingshop.com/Intro.mid
http://thevintagegamingshop.com/World2.mid
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Setu_Firestorm
Music Composer




Joined: 26 Mar 2003
Posts: 2566
Location: Holiday. FL

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Intro: There was a few spots that you played through the main theme where the harmony created a minor chord and the melody conflicted with it, following along a major pattern. Also, and this is just my opinion, I would have placed the timpani just an octave lower to give it more of a boom.

World2: This one was actually pretty well composed, although I think some dynamics wouldn't hurt much to work in there so the piece has something to drop off and build up to. Also, if you are going to put in a drumkit with this piece, as least find some way of establishing a bed of sound to further enhance the piece from there instead of it sounding like the drums were just arbitrarily thrown in there.

Altogether, though, this is some good composition. Keep it up.
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Meatballsub
Divine Bovine




Joined: 16 Jun 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Northwest Georgia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, some of those chords have been chapping my arse. I'll keep trying to work them out. Good idea on the timpani part, I think I will give that a go.

I'll also keep working on World. I agree with you about the drumkit part, and I will definitely work on that.

Thanks for the input Happy
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Bob the Hamster
OHRRPGCE Developer




Joined: 22 Feb 2003
Posts: 2526
Location: Hamster Republic (Southern California Enclave)

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like both songs, but I have one complaint that applies to both songs. Near the end of both songs is a one very long unbroken single note, which is quite unpleasant to listen to. In the case of World2, that note goes on for *way* too long even after the rest of the song has ended. Listening a second time, I notice that similar loooong notes pervade the song, but they don't become unpleasant until near the end.

Anyway. loving the first 80% of the songs :)
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Meatballsub
Divine Bovine




Joined: 16 Jun 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Northwest Georgia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

James Paige wrote:
I really like both songs, but I have one complaint that applies to both songs. Near the end of both songs is a one very long unbroken single note, which is quite unpleasant to listen to. In the case of World2, that note goes on for *way* too long even after the rest of the song has ended. Listening a second time, I notice that similar loooong notes pervade the song, but they don't become unpleasant until near the end.

Anyway. loving the first 80% of the songs Happy


Yeah, you were 100% right on World2....so I changed the ending around some. As far as the ending for Intro...it's meant to be that way. Guess I should've said something about that. Where it fits in my game the solo notes make sense Raspberry!

I took both of you guys' opinions and worked on it some more. There are still some strange chords in places, but I think it is better now. Let me know what you think!

http://thevintagegamingshop.com/Worldv2.mid
http://thevintagegamingshop.com/Introv2.mid
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Meatballsub
Divine Bovine




Joined: 16 Jun 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Northwest Georgia

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any comments on the new version? Better? Worse? You won't hurt my feelings! Razz
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Calehay
...yeah.
Class B Minstrel



Joined: 07 Jul 2004
Posts: 549

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's my comments. I've only listened to the updated versions:

World. The melody in the first section. It seems to me that since you do the dotted quarter dotted quarter quarter rhythm 3 times, the ear is going to get a little tired of it. Perhaps you could do something as simple as shifting the first beat on the third bar of it an eighth rest to add a little surprise to it. The second phrase doesn't have the problem because it changes the third time around.

I don't particularly like the way that you're using the timpani in the main section. The timpani can't be a real replacement for a bass instrument. I'm not saying that the timpani can't do what it's doing (it's actually nice that the motif is used throughout the piece. Of course, this timpani part is unplayable, but this is electronic music, so who cares.) it still sounds a little anemic, especially in the bridge.

You might think about varying the accompaniment in the main section. Right now, it's just the same thing over and over, and that can tend to get monotonous. Perhaps you can find ways to add instruments sustaining the harmonies at times or you could create another accompaniment line or something, it's just bad to have the same thing over and over and over again, even if it's just the accompaniment.

In that similar vein, the melody is also staying the same continuously. Perhaps you could add some sort of countermelody in some portion or even just put the melody in a different instrument that would help it from feeling like we've just heard it all before. You do after the bridge, but I think it's a bit too late.

Intro - It's nice to see that you're thinking thematically for your game.

At this point, I think the timpani is overkill. The timpani is really an effect, not a really bass instrument. Perhaps you could replace it would something like double bass pizzicato? Right now, it just sounds like overkill.

When the snare comes in, it seems that this is where you want the high point to be in the composition, but you don't have enough instruments to really carry out the regal sound that you want. Try adding more meat to the sound, even if it's just people holding out whole notes (though hopefully you can find something more interesting than that. It seems here that the timpani would be a good place to add that color.

I think what would help if there were more contrast in the sections. Right now, it's the same melody a bunch of times with a few changes in orchestration. Perhaps you can use things such as dynamics and tempi to reflect the character that you want to convey. Right now, it's just here's the melody, here it is again, here it is again, etc. Maybe just following the above paragraph might help that, but you should play around with it and see what you can do.

Hope this helps!
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