Castle Paradox

CP Security Officer · Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:44 pm Post subject: First Week

Attention, citizens of Castle Paradox. With my first week on duty coming to a close, I thought I might update you on the security status of the region.

Everything seems okay so far.

It has also come to my attention that many of you are against my presence here. That is unfortunate. However, I would prefer in the future that you abstain from soiling my patrol vehicle with cow excrement. I can assure you, it is messy, does not smell of roses, and can be quite cumbersome to clean off my feet when getting into the cabin. Cleaning the vehicle also takes time away from my duty as a patrolman, and I would think I can serve better when I am patrolling rather than cleaning. Remember we are all a team here when we work together. To whomever is responsible for this vandalism, please stop.

For everyone else, please let me know if there are any issues that need to be addressed.

Sincerely,

Buford, the Castle Paradox Security Officer
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Don't mind me. Carry on about your business.

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

But I gave you a mega particle cannon! Please don't hurt me with it!
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TheGiz> Am I the only one who likes to imagine that Elijah Wood's character in Back to the Future 2, the kid at the Wild Gunman machine in the Cafe 80's, is some future descendant of the AVGN?

Uncommon · Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:20 pm Post subject:

I think the biggest issue to address is how much we really don't need a patrolman.
Especially one who's almost certainly hiding behind a gimmick account.

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

Mr. Pe- I mean Patrol Man... If you destroy the mega particle cannon... I'll clean your patrol car for you!
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TheGiz> Am I the only one who likes to imagine that Elijah Wood's character in Back to the Future 2, the kid at the Wild Gunman machine in the Cafe 80's, is some future descendant of the AVGN?

Uncommon · Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:25 pm Post subject:

Kid, being afraid, playing into his hand, it's basically like bending over and giving him an open invitation to your asshole.

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

That makes no sense! I'm trying to save us all from him firing the mega particle cannon at us! Even if he tries to use it for good, the absolute destruction will be too much for the city to bare!
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TheGiz> Am I the only one who likes to imagine that Elijah Wood's character in Back to the Future 2, the kid at the Wild Gunman machine in the Cafe 80's, is some future descendant of the AVGN?

Uncommon · Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 8:32 pm Post subject:

Sometimes you've gotta welcome a little danger if you want to keep hold of your freedom.

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

Here's the game plan:

1) Steal the Mega Particle Cannon
2) Find some way to get freedom
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TheGiz> Am I the only one who likes to imagine that Elijah Wood's character in Back to the Future 2, the kid at the Wild Gunman machine in the Cafe 80's, is some future descendant of the AVGN?

TwinHamster · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:35 am Post subject:

But didn't we obtain his Mega Particle Cannon in the last episode?!

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

No.

Because I was this close to grabbing the weapon, but then time froze... And I heard an ominous voice say, "Next time on Dragon Ball Z! Goku and Vegeta continue to have their heated brawl heating up to power levels over 9000! Will Naruto win in a fight against a Sasuke fangirl, using his ultimate technique: Sexy no Jutsu!? Will Swat Kats ever come on TV again!? Find out next time! On Draaaaagon Balllll Double Z!"
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TheGiz> Am I the only one who likes to imagine that Elijah Wood's character in Back to the Future 2, the kid at the Wild Gunman machine in the Cafe 80's, is some future descendant of the AVGN?

Bob the Hamster · Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:50 am Post subject:

Often a sudden increase in security is a reaction against a catastrophic lapse in security. These increases in security usually mean a corresponding loss of freedom. In fact, it can be argued that security and freedom are opposites.

But discussion of sociology aside, was there recently some sort of serious disruption here recently that i wasn't aware of that might have prompted this "security officer" thing?

On the upside, I don't see "CP Security Officer" anywhere in the list of moderators, so I guess this particular "security" won't be threatening our freedom :)

/me hides cow

EDIT: no more sugary soft-drinks for you, Newbie Power!

Setu_Firestorm · Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:49 am Post subject:

Newbie, the "particle cannon" thing was funny the first time you posted it in the last thread. Now it's just getting annoying.

And James: if the CP Security Officer is not listed in with the moderators, it only means he's not in that usergroup, nor has he been listed as modding any forums. What it seems to mean now, considering his Soapbox topic permissions, is that he probably has admin status which would not necissarily list him anywhere.
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Bob the Hamster · Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:16 pm Post subject: so if he has admin...

The content of this post has been deleted for gratuitous and salacious use of the word "Belgium"

Sincerely,

Buford, the Castle Paradox Security Officer

Newbie_Power · Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 1762

Joe Man · Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject:

If it were funny, we wouldn't at all. But you're continuing to keep up this gimmick because you can't stand making a social blunder with your bad humor. You'll keep it up until you feel humiliated enough to pretend it never happened.
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"Everyone has 200,000 bad drawings in them, the sooner you get them out the better."
~Charles Martin Jones

Last edited by Joe Man on Fri Dec 13, 1957 1:21 am; edited 2,892 time in total