Castle Paradox

Fenrir-Lunaris · **WUT** Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 1747

I would very much like to see the transcript of a certain review up there... even if it never makes it onto the actual list. *hint hint*

Several others intrigue me as well. Perhaps if you show some examples of the reviews that are NOT accepted, it will help future reviewers to understand how to better their writing skills?

Squall · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2003 4:54 am Post subject:

WHY THE REVIEWS AREN'T ACCEPTED

First off, know that I haven't been able to accept reviews until recently (this afternoon, in fact). Some of these rejections I don't actually agree with. I don't know who rejected them, but when we're at such a loss for reviews, I wouldn't worry about trivial things as some reviews have been rejected for.

Let's start things off with an example of the biggest reason (yes, more than no screenshots!) that reviews are rejected.

Graphics
What graphics? it's just one maptile and one walkabout!
Storyline
what storyline? Ehhh... you get to move around and, stuff.
Gameplay
what gameplay? Pressing the directional keys is about as far as it goes...

Don't write just one sentence per section. A paragraph is generally the minimum amount accepted (3-5 sentences) but bigger sections are always more informative and more likely to be accepted. To this, you may say; "But this game doesn't have enough content to fill up an entire paragraph!" In that case, I say don't review that game, review something like Wingemene or Walthros or the Neo Krysta series or something. There are sections of the gamelist that need help, and ONLY YOU CAN HELP THEM! Oh, and by the way, SOMEbody PLEASE review TaoMeow. It's great!

Another huge reason, as you've heard, is screenshots. Of the 31 rejected reviews right now, well over half of them have no screenshots. I have talked to IM about adding a feature to the review submitting page that will actually shout at you if you don't put screenshots in. Take that! Until it's added, though, ADD SCREENSHOTS!

Balance
The balance is also really really good.

Tell me this; why do we review games? To increase your review count? No, no, no. If you're doing it for that reason, you're doing it for the completely wrong reason. If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything at all. In other words, if you find yourself thinking "Balance...it was, er...good I guess. Never got in the way...I'll just type 'The balance is also really really good!'" You should not be reviewing this game. You don't have anything to say. When you're playtesting a game for reviewing, be sure to keep all the categories in mind. I, for one, have a little notebook where I list all the categories. While playing the game, I like to put little notes by the categories. Try that. We’d be more interested in getting a few high quality reviews than buttloads* of really crappy reviews…as we have been getting.

Them's Fightin' Words
Poor.

The problem with this review is not so much that it has one word in the section, more so that it is ANOTHER STUPID REVIEW OF OMG TIZ ROXORS! STOP REVIEWING THIS 'GAME'!

The intros not to graphicale but its ok.

Please. If you cannot spell, do not write reviews. At lease use a spell checker. It's absolutly sickening, having to weed oneself's way through terrible spelling and grammer. No one will take you seriously if you can't spell the word designs, "desighns" and you say things like "The graphics are alot dragon warrior."

So, I think I've covered most of the problems with current reviews. I don't have a lot more to say on the subject, and I look forward to seeing some quality reviews coming our way. And for God's sake, if you have a good review but are just missing some screenshots, PLEASE ADD SCREENSHOTS!

And now, a "best of" bad reviews!

Graphics
Even Paige couldn't draw graphics this well, but the maptiles are nothing compared
to the Wandering Hamster.

Thank you, NAMEDELETED! That sure makes a lot of sense.
_________________
You got film in my video game!
You got video game in my film!

Squall · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2003 4:55 am Post subject:

Final Blows
On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 4.5

You just raped the purpose of the Final Blows section.

Here was a one of the reviews where the maker reviewed his own game. Let's watch!

Them's Fightin' Words
Graphics
Storyline
Gameplay
Battle
Map Design
Balance
Music
Enjoyment
Final Blows
Final Scores
Graphics: 10.0/10.0
Storyline: 10.0/10.0
Gameplay: 10.0/10.0
Music: 10.0/10.0
Enjoyment: 10.0/10.0
Overall Grade: A+

...moving along, here's another person who reviewed his/her own game.

Play Time: 24 hours and 30 minutes

*snort!*

Them's Fightin' Words
The intros not to graphicale but its ok.
Graphics
The graphics are alot dragon warrior.
Storyline
The story line is short & sweet like I like it.
Gameplay
It's not that long but it's ok.
Battle
The battles remind me of dragon warrior.
Map Design
The map desighns kinda crapy.
Balance

Music
It does'nt have that much music.
Enjoyment
I enjoyed it alot.

Oh, and don't review games that you haven't played.

Graphics
Good From Screenshot
Storyline
?
Gameplay
Supposedly Multi-Player Game
Battle
?
Map Design
?
Balance
?

If your review looks like this; you're doing it wrong.

Gameplay
Nothing special!
Battle
Nothing Special.
Map Design
Nothing Special.
Balance
Well rounded!

One last person who reviewed his own game. The whole thing's pretty well writen, a little skimpy, though. He finishes off with this quote;

Graphics: 10.0/10.0
I worked for hours on my graphics. I think I deserve a 10, but I'm not promoting my game, oh no, I'd never do that.

Just so you know, yes, he did give his game all 10's and an A+ and he thinks his game is 4 hours long.

Oh, and finally, here's a quick quote from Me's review of Logan's Adventures. I sure hope he puts screenshots up soon, because I really want to show this to you guys.

Final Thoughts
Message to LogHeckTech: If you want people to download your game, go to your forum, or respect you in any way, grow up. With crap like this, no one will ever see you in a good light.

And that's all I have to say about that.

*a buttload is approximately 31
_________________
You got film in my video game!
You got video game in my film!

Shadowiii · **It's been real.** Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 2460

Wow. Those reviews are awful.

....

Yeah. Smokin'

_________________
But enough talk, have at you!

Fenrir-Lunaris · **WUT** Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 1747

The only reason an author should be able to review their own game is to discuss the reasonings behind it, their own opinions, what they felt they could have done better (if they knew how), and generally say 'I did a good job, but this has given me the experience needed to do better'. They can go on about how they wanted the characters to act, what they wanted to portray in some scenes, and why the difficulty is skewed by certain actions on behalf of the player (you don't HAVE to use spells as items if you don't want to). It can be used for so much good... and yet there's too many people who will give it an automatic 'A+'. Look at the only review for Timestream Saga 1, a game which some say takes upwards of 40 hours to beat (MCW's calculations) and notice the score it has. B. I think. By someone saying that their own game is the most enjoyable/gfx heavy/music oriented whatever of all the games we have, I don't think they're taking themselves seriously. For that reason, I wanted a feature to either make the author's scores NOT count towards the total, or add a N/A to be used, which would accomplish the same thing. I'm still not certain if either actually work at all. If nothing else, consider reviewing your own game ONLY if what you have to say about it is important and will more than likely NEVER be covered in any other review.

Inferior Minion · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2003 10:46 am Post subject:

Yes...that feature has been added. When an author reviews his own game, his score does not count. The grade is just there. No calculations are made with it. I thought it would be nice to have the authors rate their own games...but try to keep it honest
_________________

RedMaverickZero · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2003 4:02 am Post subject:

Why didn't the reviews Setu get mentioned? Not that I'm a little biost (check spelling on that....) but I know for a fact those are old reviews, but I don't know if Setu revised them. Anyways, it's real cool that people are writing reviews, well the ones that are accepted. It's nice, and to think I'm doing something right, because none of mine were rejected entirely. So I guess I'm doing it right. Hehehehe... Coolness. But can someone tell me what was wrong with Setu's review for Maze Madness? I didn't see anything wrong with it.
_________________
---------------Projects----
Mr.Triangle's Maze: 70%
Takoyaki Surprise: 70%

Setu_Firestorm · Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2003 10:47 pm Post subject:

Alrighty, Red. This is what I got as responses (not that I'm saying they were right or wrong):

Mr. Triangle's Sh**ty Adventure 5-
More depth wouldn't hurt ^_^

Mr. Triangle's Maze Madness -
Every game needs balance, even if not an RPG

or something like that. Since I haven't been on a comp that lets me write reviews anymore, I haven't been able to touch up.
_________________

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/georgerpowell
Newgrounds: http://setu-firestorm.newgrounds.com

RedMaverickZero · Posted: Mon Sep 01, 2003 1:31 am Post subject:

Oh ok, because IM and I thought you deleted them. Well alright. But a word of advice, take new screenshots, I've seen the shots... And well... not too great... But good, because they are from good games. Hehehehe...
_________________
---------------Projects----
Mr.Triangle's Maze: 70%
Takoyaki Surprise: 70%

Setu_Firestorm · Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2003 10:46 pm Post subject:

Ahem!

IM and you were right. Once they got turned down and I realized I couldn't edit them, I did delete them.

But I figure now that I'm at college, I may be able to use their comps to rewrite them. I'll let you know how that turns out!
_________________

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/georgerpowell
Newgrounds: http://setu-firestorm.newgrounds.com

Shadowiii · **It's been real.** Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 2460

I can't understand why you'd want to review your own game when you could just put that info in the readme.txt you'd (probably) include...

Eh. Whatever. Not like I have a game... Oookay...

_________________
But enough talk, have at you!

RedMaverickZero · Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 12:38 am Post subject:

What's going on???!!! My FFH review has set unlooked at for like 2 weeks, and yet my Arfenhouse review, written after FFH was submitted fairly quick. I was wondering what was up with that.
_________________
---------------Projects----
Mr.Triangle's Maze: 70%
Takoyaki Surprise: 70%

Fenrir-Lunaris · **WUT** Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 1747

I've actually had some sneak previews of the FFH review (curteousy of the staff) and it's all right. Better than most sitting out there, but at least you know it's been looked at. I think what's going on is that nobody's willing to approve it because they're waiting on someone else to do it... and of course they're all waiting around in a kind of mexican standoff.

If you want to better your chances of getting the review accepted, try to write two paragraphs per section. You could discuss the negative points in one, then the positive aspects in another. Sort of strike a balance of 'this is what I didn't like' and 'I liked this'. It adds a sense that the reviewer is being impartial in their review, and is also giving their reader a chance to see that a reviewer can have some serious gripes about a game, but still enjoy playing it.

That and FFH is 12 hours long (24 to some), and a single paragraph per section probably won't cover the whole game. Damn my skills.

planethunter · Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2003 2:39 am Post subject:

I know this thread had decayed long ago, but I couldn't help notice how you quoted me three lines in a row on "what not to do". One should take consideration the game I reviewed, and I just said what was on my mind.

Anyways, it's nice to see I got a mention in the reviews section, even though I was for all the wrong reasons...
_________________
~PH