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Slime
Objection!!!
Joined: 27 Feb 2005
Posts: 170
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 Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: Guys, I really need advice (Serious advice please) |
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It's a long story, so I'm gonna shorten things here.
Last Tuesday, I was supposed to go chill at my friend's today. I went, and he wasn't home. His sister answered the door. She told me I could wait for him if I wanted. I accepted and didn't think much of it.
We're just waiting for him in the living room...and things start to get weird. I'm not gonna go into details, but we started doing shit. I don't know why I didn't stop myself, I just went on with it. It's nothing at first, just kissing and crap, but then, shit, I don't know...we had sex.
I'm confused here. I mean, she's cute. but she's never really shown interest in me, nor have I to her. I really don't know what to do next. She's been calling me a lot, and I think my friend's getting suspicious. I'm also terrified of her father. Not only that, but I'm worried. It was spontaneous, so it was unprotected sex. If she gets pregnant, then I'm fucked.
I really messed up, and don't know what to do....can anyone offer some friendly advice?
Should I pursue a relationship, be honest and admit it to everyone involved, or just try to forget about it?
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JSH357
Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1705
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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| You could always stop pasting whatever Giz tells you to post. |
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Gizmog1
Don't Lurk In The Bushes!
Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2257
Location: Lurking In The Bushes!
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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Jesus Slime, where the hell's the fun in this? At least give us some pics or something, if you're going to try to be funny without me.
 /10'd |
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TwinHamster
♫ Furious souls, burn eternally! ♫
Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1352
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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If you get her pregnant, then you're going to have to do a little more than "forget about it". I suggest you quickly run away before your best buddy's daddy chases you with his 20-gauge-model-500-pump-shotgun, blasting 2 3/4" shells into your ass.
I highly recommend that you strongly advise your girlfriend to get one of those pap-smear thingies. If, uh, unpregnated, then YAY! At this point, you are now free to "forget about it".
If she is, in fact, pregnant, then I want you to:
1)Tell her to donate her embryo to the 'National Cancer Institute' where it will be put to proper stem cell research to prevent the deaths of hundreds of thousands. But tell her to do it secretely, seeing as this type of thing is illegal in the states.
2)Dash. Not run, dash.
3)Wait for 40 years (seeing as you're only, what, 16 now.) before returning home. Trust me, I've got this perfectly calculated.
Seriously. Get that embryo to the NCI. We will put it to good use. |
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Slime
Objection!!!
Joined: 27 Feb 2005
Posts: 170
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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Shit, I'm fucking serious. I really need some advice. I suppose my reputation isn't too shiny, but I'd be nice to get honest replies when I ask for them.
I'm asking for genuine help this once, so is anyone out there not a complete bastard?
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Valigarmander
Bye-Bye
Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 750
Location: Nowhere
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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I'm kind of a bitch, but I'm not a bastard.
I don't know if you believe in a god or anything, but if you do, you should start praying your ass off that she isn't pregnant. If she is, you're boned. I've never been in your situation, so there's not much I can say. But I'm an emo, and emos are good at solving emotional dramatic problems and other crap like that.
Just ask if you want my help. I'll see what I can do, even if I can't do much... |
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Slime
Objection!!!
Joined: 27 Feb 2005
Posts: 170
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:56 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I do believe in God...which is why I'm feeling guilty as fuck. What are the chances of a girl getting pregnant if it's her first time?
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TwinHamster
♫ Furious souls, burn eternally! ♫
Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1352
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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1)Discretely obtain some form of self-pregnancy-tester from an online source. If you're lacking a credit card, then your only other option is to go to the local medical shop and simply buy one. If you're asked for ID, then you will have to run away, unless there are security guards by the door, in which case you should never have gone in the shop in the first place.
| Code: | if(girl==pregnant)
then(
Slime tells the truth to everyone involved
if(Slime and girl agree to let baby grow)
then(Girl haves baby)
else(Abortion)
)
else(
Slime doesn't ever have to tell anyone.
) |
Apologies, but there's really no back door to a situation like this. You've got to follow the standard teenage pregnancy procedures that every other 16 year old father like you has to face.
[edit]
| Quote: | | What are the chances of a girl getting pregnant if it's her first time? |
It's actually the same chance as it would be if it was a girl's any numbered time.
You might also want to check yourself for some burns. |
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Valigarmander
Bye-Bye
Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 750
Location: Nowhere
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Has she taken a pregnancy test yet? Missed a period? Check the signs. |
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Onlyoneinall
Bug finder
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 746
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Code: | If Slime beliefs = God exists
suspend player
then, begin
(Slime does girl)
set tag (Girl done, on)
rand int (1,100) store into (X)
if (X) < or = 40
then (Girl pregnant)
else,end
end
end
else, begin
end
resume Slime
begin script (script,guilt)
end
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If you believe in God, do you also believe that pre-marital marriage is wrong? If so, then you should be worried about going to HELL!
Seriously though, if that girl is pregnant, she should abort and send that embyro to stem cell research like Twinhamster said. The child of two parents who impulsively did each other should NOT be raised by the likes of you. It shouldn't even be birthed into this world at such a time, as we have enough stupid people in this world already and sending it into adoption or something wouldn't be a swell thing to do.[/code]
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TwinHamster
♫ Furious souls, burn eternally! ♫
Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1352
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Even more serious: Can you be sure that the girl was a virgin? What if, hypothetically, she just got crabs and remembered that you and her bro did something horrible to her in her youth (threw gum at her hair) and she wanted payback? You might be burning, man. Check for the signs. |
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Slime
Objection!!!
Joined: 27 Feb 2005
Posts: 170
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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Who the hell are you to judge me, Onlyoneinall? You don't know me. If she's pregnant, I'm gonna suck it up. Be there for the baby. Not fucking kill it.
I fucked up, why should the baby have to pay for my mistakes?
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Gizmog1
Don't Lurk In The Bushes!
Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2257
Location: Lurking In The Bushes!
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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Slime, post pictures of you and the mom. That way we can do like, a home version of "If They Mated"
PICS! NAO! /10 |
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TwinHamster
♫ Furious souls, burn eternally! ♫
Joined: 07 Mar 2004
Posts: 1352
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| Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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Good for you, Slime. If there were a clappy emoticon, I'd click it.
If you're honestly looking for advice on an accidental teenage birth, then you're in the wrong forum. I suggest going to that link I posted earlier. On the word 'face'. |
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Onlyoneinall
Bug finder
Joined: 16 Jul 2005
Posts: 746
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